It’s unsurprising then, to find a storm brewing between groups of commercial sex workers in Copenhagen and the Mayor’s office who are determined that none of the working girls are going to have an early Christmas. What with the whole world descending on Copenhagen, it’s naive at best to assume that horizontal refreshments aren’t part and parcel of the ’entertainment package’ available to delegates at the climate and environment conference just beginning in the Danish capital. Just because it’s not on the official programme doesn’t mean that it’s not available.

So when the Copenhagen Mayor’s office issues a formal communiqué that blatantly says ”Be Sustainable, Don’t Buy Sex” and distributes it to hotels, the response from representative groups of the working girls is emphatic.

Conference delegates who show the official “Anti-prostitution postcards” being distributed at the conference and in hotels, in conjunction with their official conference delegates ID cards – are being offered free sexual services as a retaliatory measure against the move by the Mayor’s office.

A spokeswoman from SIO, a sex workers interest organization says:

”It’s completely discriminatory. Ritt Bjerregaard the Mayor is abusing her position when she uses her power to prevent us from carrying out our legal work. I don’t understand how she can be allowed to contact people in this way – we have to defend ourselves.”

It wasn’t so long ago that Jackie Selebi, the South African Police Commissioner urged the South African government to legalize prostitution for the duration of the FIFA 2010 World Cup. Not surprisingly, Selebii’s ‘pragmatism’ as some would say was totally laughed out of the room into the media circles, despite the validity of the argument that the Police should be “policing” the crowds and not focussing stretched resources on vice duties.

Sometimes, morality has no place in situations where practical solutions are needed to manage unsolvable practical problems, and let’s face it, the Copenhagen conference, and the 2010 World cup for that matter is like Christmas, Easter, 4 leap year birthdays and the lotto all rolled into one for a commercial sex worker. There are some things that are simply unpoliceable when supply meets demand if you will.

You can understand why both sides fight their corner though – and why the police helplessly look on.

I’ve made a point though of maintaining my inherent cynicism about this week’s environment and climate conference in Copenhagen. In March, I wrote the article Environmental fascism in its element – Doomsayers are at it again.

In the March article, I conclude that if there’s one thing I’ve come to understand (and something that acts as another contributor to my cynicism) about this environmental fascism, it boils down to the ability to pay salaries and pay mortgages for all these environmental activists. All the focus and enthusiasm and passion and whatever you can call it about the cause for environmentalism, is simply a cover for a direct route to government funding and donor funding for the environment. The environment and lobbying about global warming is a fashion statement for the next decade. In the 70’s women’s liberation was fashionable, in the 80s race relations was fashionable, in the 90s it was all about the gay and lesbian movement, this decade disability rights has become the new gay, and next decade, watch out for the fair trade consuming, bicycle riding, garbage recycling tree huggers.

For one, it’s hard to take anything that happens in the conference seriously if you consider that the Russian security services are being suspected for leaking ’toxic’ (forgive the pun) e-mails being bandied around – totally discrediting the whole environmental movement. Have all these scientist been lying to us about global warming all these years, or are the KGB back to their old tricks. It’s no wonder the sex workers in Copenhagen are seeing the event as pay day and nothing to do with our environment.
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Take for example, the Order of the Knights Templar – arguably the world’s first multi-national corporation who were pretty much responsible for inventing the banking system. They may have had their day between the 12th and 14th centuries – but during their time, they wielded unprecedented power through their economic resources that would rival the combined economic power of the so called G8. Of course they had their very own militia to boot, who operated with the ruthlessness of any fighting force known to man – but we’re not going to suggest that these “soldiers of the temple” were a bunch of thugs sanctioned by the Catholic church now, are we?

Fast forward to the 19th century and a bizarre, outlandish and surreal gathering by some European folks in Berlin in 1886 decided – “You know what, fuck it! We’re not going to survive out here going on like this – let’s all head out to Africa, colonize the bastards, and chop it up and divide it among ourselves. May the best country win”…hence the rise of the British Empire (and the rest of them of course)…

Like with many dynasties and empires, the Order of the Knights Templar and the British Empire have some common threads – their fall from grace was both inevitable and incredible, but more so, their downfall was driven by the fact that they were no longer relevant and were past their sell by date.

In the case of the Knights Templars, a clearly vindictive King Phillip of France used weaknesses stemming from the continued irrelevance of the templars to finish them off. Granted, there was a small matter of the King being indebted up to his eyeballs to the templars who financed his various unsuccessful wars (George Bush comes to mind here) against the British – and arresting them, torturing them, charging them pretty much with blasphemy and treason and killing them by roasting them on a stake – clearly provided a creative solution to sort his debts out. (*Makes a mental note that there are other ways of settling issues with creditors apart from paying them*)

In the case of the British empire, it became untenable that such a small island would continue to conquer the world and plunder the colonies in search of resources and raw materials to sustain their livelihoods. My only issue with the fall of the British empire is that there’s a wide spread myth that on the exit of the colonial masters, African countries actually achieved independence. “Independence from what?”, I normally ask. In Kenya’s case for example, all that happened on that cold December night in 1963 was that power passed from one set of seasoned thugs to another more unsavoury and locally bred bunch of bandits masquerading as freedom fighters.

I digress, but my point is – empires and world orders crumble because they’re no longer relevant in any given age. Fast forward again to this here world of ours in 2009, and the lessons history has taught us have come to play again.

The G8, in my view, a self imposed cabal of dodgy imperialists who decided to usurp the democratic space of the UN and impose themselves to the world as the giver and taker on the basis of their economic power – has had their time.

There was a time that they could claim that their economies warranted their exclusive club status, but like President Lula daSilva of Brazil recently undiplomatically articulated – “Have you seen an Indian or a black man having the power and resources to cause damage to the world economy? This mess was caused by blue eyed white people who think they know everything”. He was of course talking about the current global economic crisis.

The global financial crisis has not spared any of the so called developed countries. In fact, some are at the brink of negotiating with the IMF to bail them out. Mind you, this is an institution that the cabal members put in place without much thought to “sort” out the developing world – and created a culture that saw any country receiving money from the IMF as a pariah. The others have resorted to printing new money to buy out the radio-active assets that got us into this mess – but of course, they’ll call it quantitative easing or something fancy like that. Ask Robert Mugabe and he’ll tell you “those bastards are printing money like I did, don’t let them lie to you”…

. Now that the only justifiable basis for this cabal of 8 to exist has been removed out of the equation, you’ve got to ask yourself why they should even be taken seriously. They don’t have the economic power that they justified their existence as an exclusive club with.

Take the example of the last G8 meeting where the cabal sang to anyone who would listen that they had resolved to save the world’s environment, they had continued with their commitment to save Africa from itself, and had got Russia and America talking again.

Well, at least they decided to seriously examine cutting green house gas emissions in half by 2050. Any seasoned diplomat will tell you “seriously examine” is a euphemism for “let’s kick this fucker into the long grass”.

As for Africa and aid, don’t get me started. It’s tragic enough that the destiny of a whole continent is pinned on the eloquence and campaigning skills of ageing rock stars like Bono and Bob “give us your fucking money” Geldof – all the cabal decided to do was reiterate their commitment to supporting aid efforts in Africa. Talk about a broken record.

As for Russia and America talking – I guess the other European countries in the G8 have to make themselves look busy and relevant and force themselves as mediators. Besides, if they don’t, someone might notice that Brazil, Russia, India and China actually have more clout than they do on global economic and political matters.

When times were hard, a tactical move saw the emergence of the G20 with their first main summit recently in London. However, the talking shop that it was won’t change the fact that the entire continent of Africa was not properly represented at this jaunt. For good measure of course, they threw in a lame duck South African caretaker President so that they can tell the world “lookey right here – we have some folks from Africa too”….and there was one chap from NEPAD too – but if anyone needed an indication that Africa needs to take itself seriously and sort out its own issues, then here you are.

Gadaffi for all his longevity and staleness in political office may have been on to something when his first rallying call as AU president was for the formation of the United States of Africa. Set aside what you think of this old geezer, but there’s a visionary in this guy.

Clearly there’s a hell of a lot of distance still between the rhetoric of a United States of Africa and the reality of our dodgy and thug life leadership that sometimes makes you feel some African leaders should just be put into one stadium and shot.

However, there’s still a significant amount of merit in aspiring for more effective economic and political integration within Africa and for African leaders to be visionary enough to see the solutions to the continents problems as coming from within. A good start are the regional blocks like the EAC, ECOWAS and SADEC – but first, they have to work for the people within their regions, and I’m sure we all have a story about them.

I forget again why I was writing this article….Yeah! The agriculture ministers of the G8 countries are getting together to thrash out a solution to the pending world food crisis. Of course they’ll throw in someone from South Africa or something for good measure and maybe a stooge from a related UN agency to do some administration and follow up.

Don’t be surprised if all that happens is that a solution for Africa to whole heartedly embrace genetically modified food is presented as a saviour to this crisis. Nothing at all to do with pushing the corporate agendas of multi-nationals like Monsanto who have a bit of bad press out west and need a new market…God forbid, that would be immoral (*he says with some sarcasm*)

How about stopping farm subsidies that allow cheap European produce to flood developing countries and wipe out any chance of the African farmer to get something for their wares in a fair market? Maybe they’ll get a chance to survive enough to grow their own food to eat.
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I must admit, I’m not a fan of Jacqui Smith, the UK Home Secretary, but even a stone cold approach to some issues in life doesn’t stop me from empathizing with her, regardless of the spectacular stupidity of this matter. Deep down she must be wondering what the fuck hit her as she looks in the mirror and tries to contemplate whether to castrate her husband for the public humiliation, or whether to cry because of the heartbreak.

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith leaving for a very long day at work

Clearly, the irony of the timing of the leak about her expenses claim that paid for pornographic movies with tax payers money isn’t past the cynical mind of someone from the enemy camp with excellent sabotage skills. I don’t think its coincidence that the leak comes just before one of Jacqui’s biggest moments on the international political stage, as she prepares her security apparatus to host probably the most powerful 20 leaders in the world in London. Apparently, MP’s now want the Police to investigate who leaked her dirty old secret out – are they afraid their skeletons are coming out next?

Gordon her boss must be thinking – “The damn bastards”. If it’s not enough that he’s gallivanting the world in an attempt to rally G20 folks into buying his global financial master plan, the enemy has to unleash this madness onto the stage.

Gordon Brown’s job already looks like a lost cause that is tantamount to him trying to herd cats, but this Jacqui Porngate affair is just the stuff that comedy is made of.

As for Jacqui’s hubby Dick, it looks like he’ll have to do with the sofa for a while as she cools off. I don’t know which is actually more stupid on his part – Watching hardcore porn on the family TV pay per view account, or getting caught by stupidly letting his wife claim the cost of the porn movies from tax payers, lest she asks why she shouldn’t be claiming it and he has to admit that he’s been a naughty boy.

Jacqui Smith’s husband Richard Timney apologizing to the media for his moment of madness

He’ll probably plead insanity and claim that she’s been starving him of his conjugal rights hence his creativity looking for alternative entertainment – but with a good stint on the sofa, chances are he’s not getting pussy for a while.

Either way, the biggest question in Britain right now is “What were those 2 porn movies that he watched?”. Talk about free advertising handed to the producers of the movies on a plate.Related Articles:

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Answer: For differing reasons, they have all been responsible for some of the world’s biggest and most severe violations of civil liberties of the poor old folks that they proclaim to lead or have led.

George Orwell (if he could), must have a smug and uncanny smile on his face that has that characteristic “I told you bastards so” look. Look at any plot in his 1984 master piece and you get this queasy feeling that George was definitely onto something that will scare the living daylights out of any self respecting individual who values their privacy.

I’m not particularly interested in this article to talk about or even argue the case and justification for the different ways in which the so called leaders above implemented their totalitarian dictatorships….far from that. Trying to compare and contrast the good guys from the bad guys in that list will give me a headache. What is a constant is that they all have, are, or are intending to take a place in history as those responsible for the massive and ruthless violation of the civil liberties of their citizens, in the name of a better and more grander cause for the good of the majority.

Why am I writing about this? Well, for a long time now, it’s been common knowledge that big brother Britain was slowly descending down the slippery slope into a 21st century police state. You can’t go anywhere in this country without being in range of a CCTV camera which will catch anything from a bemused smile as you indulge in self wonderment of an individual kind, or the quick adjustment of your dodgy underwear that is violating the sacred crevasse in between your bum cheeks, to the violent criminal activities that go on in every street corner.

The National Health Service has been trying for years (thank God for the incompetence in technology implementation to put in place a global central database of patient’s most intimate medical and psychological issues apparently to streamline the system and make medical support at the point of contact more accessible and a more efficient experience…at least that’s what they say – though the thought of every Thomas, Dickson and Harriet knowing that you have mental health issues or genital herpes before you even say hello at the GP’s reception doesn’t amuse any 3 dimensional individual.

A few months ago, a stealth law was introduced in the British parliament under the guise of “Anti-terror” legislation that every single email, sms text and phone call was going to be recorded and monitored as a strategy to defend the citizens of the country against acts of terror. It’s amazing that there wasn’t enough time given to debating this law and letting folks really understand how ridiculous it is.

Gordon’s government hasn’t had enough….now they want to monitor and record every web site and social networking activity that internet users make. Recording our email and phone calls is not enough – Nooo! Let’s go ahead and record every single thing they do or say on Facebook, MySpace and other social networking sites. Frankly speaking, I’ll be amazed if they get anything from the crap that’s written on folks walls on Facebook, but that’s not the point here…

The thought that it won’t be long before you’ll have to ask the government for permission to take a piss, or apply for a licence to have sex, or have your friends on Facebook or those who e-mail you be under surveillance because of what both of you were supposed to have said makes my stomach turn. And for what? Supposedly to save us from the imminent threat of a terror attack?.

This smirks of a classic case of “Problem, Reaction, Solution”, a strategy that has been used to oppress masses for time immemorial. Create a problem (usually calculated but can be opportunistic), create a massive reaction and outcry from the populous, and then provide a solution that stamps your authority on a desired political, social and financial order that satisfies your agenda.

All this nonsense about fighting and winning the so called Dubya’s war on terror is becoming blatantly annoying. If there’s an enemy out there, they must be laughing their arses like nobody’s business. Look at how terrified and clueless citizens have their liberties violated in places like airports where they’re herded like the sheep they are, barefoot and forced to hold clear paper bags for inspection like those suspected of exceeding their food rations in a prisoner of war camp before they board a flight. Some airports are even trialing thermal imaging x-rays that see through clothes as you pass security – now this is not even funny….and passengers don’t even have a clue.

…And all this for what? To save us from the big bad ugly terrorist. You know, folklore has constantly shown that one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter. Take Charles dGaulle for example. This dude was at one time seen as the nemesis of all things civilized in France and actually branded a terrorist. Now look at what they call him. Besides, who gets to decide who is a terrorist…what’s the difference between those supposedly living in caves and using crude methods of destruction and those wearing Savile Row suits, sitting in plush offices in the safety of a security blanket and sanction the killing of hundreds and thousands of civilians using an expensive pen to sign a decree.

You know, if I was cynical, I’d actually suggest that Gordon’s government need a serious smoke screen and side show to change the agenda from the fact that Britain is running bankrupt and its a result of spectacular incompetence over the last 10 to 15 years in fiscal management that saw the City and Wall street get away with Casino style gambling of the economy. No prizes for guessing who was in charge of the coffers then.

If all fails, scare the shit out of the public with immanent threats of terror (by the way, whatever happened to that traffic light system in the states where people were shafted around based on someone’s decision to change the terror alert by traffic lights – green for somewhat OK, amber for vigilance….you catch my drift, but I digress) – and once the public are shit scared, take their liberties from them and tell them it’s the only way to save their lives.

And all this from a government with the worst record in the storage and security of sensitive public data (or if you prefer, the best record in losing sensitive public data). Those in charge of data security don’t even seem like being capable of hitting a barn door with a shotgun and they want to record every single email, phone call, sms, where folks go on the web and what they do or say on social networking web sites.

I wonder which is worse…someone violating you and they make no effort in hiding the fact that they’re violating you, or someone who violates you when they’re pretending that their reason for doing so is solely to protect you from the big bad wolf outside.Related Articles:

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Or maybe, a conference about “The Kenya we want” that is fronted by the old school establishment of unsavoury, incompetent and outright dodgy characters who have had over 40 years to provide the Kenya folks needed in the first place but failed spectacularly. (Speaking of which – what was the point in holding a conference when the answer to the question of “What Kenyans want?” is succinctly captured in breathtaking precision in the Kenyan national anthem).

Anyway, it was interesting to note that once again, there was a “high profile” (this word is as abused as the word normal coz’ clearly, it’s a relative state of affairs) conference bringing together the good and the great who classify themselves as world experts on poverty alleviation and eradication.

If there’s one thing that I have a problem rationalizing, it’s the fact that there’s an actual discipline that is taught and theorized by elite folks out here in the west, that purports to know how to eliminate poverty for the world’s poorest folk. I suppose my view is somewhat compounded by the misguided self-righteousness of some folks in this poverty and aid industry who see it as their destiny and God given right to go out and save the people of the world. William Easterly couldn’t have put it any better in his classic book “The White man’s burden”.

The aid and development industry is a self fulfilling prophecy and in a ruthless and cynical way, its survival depends on the continued existence of poverty. There are folks in this industry who have mortgages, bills to pay, kids to go to school and you know, day to day obligations that need to be met. That really isn’t an incentive to run themselves out of a job presumably by eliminating poverty, is it?

So the British government in a desperate bid to show that they are actually taking the lead in global matters decide to hold a global conference to bring together the world’s top experts on global poverty. The “let’s bust poverty around the world” elite spent two days in the plush surroundings of 5 star lobbies and conference rooms in central London discussing short and medium term strategies to support the poorest countries in the world who will be worst affected by the global economic crisis.

Funny, it cost them over £527,000 to host the conference, which is a touch ironic considering the grand purpose of the big picture they’re constantly telling us about….”over x and y number of people in Africa live with less than a dollar a day….yada yada”. £527,000 could have paid for 127,000 anti-malaria nets and is actually more than Britain’s annual aid budget to Namibia.

There was a chance I could have actually taken this more seriously if they held it say in Ouagadougou or the far reaches of southern Asia where the realism of what they’re purporting to do could be the back drop of the discussions….but of course they’ll say, our conference in London was representative and had delegates from the poorest countries in the world. Of course, let’s wheel in the token poverty struck Chair of a so called partner NGO, put him or her in a suit bought somewhere in Shepherds Bush, fast track their visa application through the embassy and parade them to the British media and say – see, we have poor people with us. We even let them speak on stage.Related Articles:

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However, when it gets to the stage of threatening someone with 14 years in prison as a guest of Her Majesty Aunt Liz, for the crime of providing accurate and necessary information that needs to be out in the open, then the old adage of truth and freedom becomes as cynical as the concept of an honest politician. Granted, the chap in question is an officer of some decorative rank in the British army, but his interpretation of the often touted “Official Secrets Act” deserves another medal on his breast plate, if not a pat on the back.

Clearly, we’ve all known that NATO and allied forces in Afghanistan have been feeding us bullshit about the numbers of civilian casualties, in Bush’s disastrous so called ‘War on terror’. In their (the military and politicians) misguided enthusiasm to test the understanding of the public’s intelligence, they often want us to believe that their superior military precision and advance weaponry and rockets can manoeuvre corners, navigate traffic lights, pass through open windows, and knock on an enemy’s door before exploding just when the enemy opens the door – therefore keeping civilian casualties to a minimum.

Lt. Colonel Owen McNally clearly had a morality attack (or maybe he was just getting some on the side and gave in to pillow talk – who knows…) – it gets to a point where the motivation for unleashing the info becomes an irrelevance. He has been arrested by the British authorities for revealing very ‘sensitive’ information to a female human rights campaigner he befriended in Afghanistan, alluding to the true numbers of civilian casualties in the Afghanistan war.

The public have clearly been lied to about the true numbers of civilians dying. Pray tell why we want to throw the book and entire legal cabinet at someone who feels that keeping this info from the public is wrong. Slapping the official secrets act as a blanket all clauses gagging order for someone who is telling the truth about the true cost of this war is more repugnant than the tactics of the so called bad guys that they’re chasing out there.

Read McNally’s story here
Apparently, American generals are also pissed off like a nonsense. Funny, they have enough trouble minimizing the Dover effect by keeping the numbers of military body bags arriving back in the states away from the glare of the public…without some British loose cannon on deck unleashing true numbers of civilian casualties.Related Articles:

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Once in a while you get a classic example of the madness of political correctness unleashed on unsuspecting souls. Take Caroline Petrie for example, a devout Christian and community nurse going on about her business, with an added optional extra of an offer to pray for the patient Kind of like – would you like a biscuit with that tea, or can I take your coat for you, or do you want me to open the door for you type of optional extra….or maybe not…

Read Caroline’s story here. She is at risk of losing her job and even getting struck off the nursing register for offering to pray for a 79 year old patient. Maybe one of the mafioso saw a funny side to this if it turned out that Caroline was offering elder patients their last prayer before death came calling, whilst all the while fronting as a community nurse.

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Kenyans most seasoned bandits who regularly masquerade as members of parliament are perhaps most infamous for two outstanding acts of impunity:

1. They’re the highest paid legislators in the world, despite Kenya being one of the poorest countries in the world and having a human development index ranking of 148 out of 177.
2. They have illustrated the highest and most insulting level of impunity by not only refusing to pay taxes on allowances, they’ve actually legislated against paying these taxes.

The most basic thing you learn about leadership, is the importance of exemplifying in your every day actions, the values and virtues you purport to stand for or represent. Forget the fact that tax evasion or tax avoidance can be argued to be a criminal offence, the actions of Kenyan legislators defy belief in illustrating how totally out of this planet and out of touch with reality these low life punks are. Kenyans are experiencing possibly the worst economic hardships that our generation has seen, with massive unemployment, a looming famine affecting over 10 million people, a truck load of social and development challenges, and I don’t know what else, and these so called members of the August house shamelessly rape the country with their impunity in self preservation.

I’d like to illustrate this point with some figures (credited to some good research by the Nairobi Star

• Including salary, benefits and allowances, the monthly (Yes – monthly) take home pay for a Kenyan member of parliament is Kshs. 1,435,846 (US$ 17,970 per month). Considering this is mostly tax free, it equates to a monthly gross income of over Kshs. 2,000,000 (US$ 25,031 gross per month)
• The single biggest expenditure per MP is a personal allowance equating to an average of Kshs. 700,000 per month (US$ 8,760 per month). The personal allowance caters for (among other things) house allowance, responsibility allowance (now this one is just a classic, being paid to be responsible), entertainment allowance (Kshs. 67,000 – can you believe this?), transport (not even car allowance, just transport), extraneous allowances (this I’d like to find out more, domestic servants allowances, attendance, constituency and car maintenance allowances.
• In addition to the car maintenance allowance and the transport allowance, each MP gets a mileage claim allowance, which added together, gives you a grand total of an allowance of Kshs. 629,000) per month (US$ 7,872) to run a vehicle.
• Each MP has also received a grant of Kshs. 3,300,000 (US$ 41,301) to buy a car, and by the way, the import duty on these so called official cars are paid for them.
• MPs and their entire families are insured for personal and health insurance equating to Kshs. 51,000 per year per MP.
• Parliament also has a capital grant fund of Kshs. 400 million (US$$ 5,006,257) to the mortgage fund capital to assist MPs to buy houses (which begs the question – where were these punks living before?”

We haven’t even considered the expenses for running constituency offices. I’m getting a migraine just thinking of it.

You know what’s sad is that there are people walking the streets looking for every available opportunity, however small, to put food on the table for their families. On a good day, they’ll get one meal, and many others go without something to eat, and not because of lack of trying. You don’t even have to struggle to count those who’ve resorted to commercial sex work as the only alternative to feed their own, or to supplement what meagre resources they have.

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