It’s unsurprising then, to find a storm brewing between groups of commercial sex workers in Copenhagen and the Mayor’s office who are determined that none of the working girls are going to have an early Christmas. What with the whole world descending on Copenhagen, it’s naive at best to assume that horizontal refreshments aren’t part and parcel of the ’entertainment package’ available to delegates at the climate and environment conference just beginning in the Danish capital. Just because it’s not on the official programme doesn’t mean that it’s not available.

So when the Copenhagen Mayor’s office issues a formal communiqué that blatantly says ”Be Sustainable, Don’t Buy Sex” and distributes it to hotels, the response from representative groups of the working girls is emphatic.

Conference delegates who show the official “Anti-prostitution postcards” being distributed at the conference and in hotels, in conjunction with their official conference delegates ID cards – are being offered free sexual services as a retaliatory measure against the move by the Mayor’s office.

A spokeswoman from SIO, a sex workers interest organization says:

”It’s completely discriminatory. Ritt Bjerregaard the Mayor is abusing her position when she uses her power to prevent us from carrying out our legal work. I don’t understand how she can be allowed to contact people in this way – we have to defend ourselves.”

It wasn’t so long ago that Jackie Selebi, the South African Police Commissioner urged the South African government to legalize prostitution for the duration of the FIFA 2010 World Cup. Not surprisingly, Selebii’s ‘pragmatism’ as some would say was totally laughed out of the room into the media circles, despite the validity of the argument that the Police should be “policing” the crowds and not focussing stretched resources on vice duties.

Sometimes, morality has no place in situations where practical solutions are needed to manage unsolvable practical problems, and let’s face it, the Copenhagen conference, and the 2010 World cup for that matter is like Christmas, Easter, 4 leap year birthdays and the lotto all rolled into one for a commercial sex worker. There are some things that are simply unpoliceable when supply meets demand if you will.

You can understand why both sides fight their corner though – and why the police helplessly look on.

I’ve made a point though of maintaining my inherent cynicism about this week’s environment and climate conference in Copenhagen. In March, I wrote the article Environmental fascism in its element – Doomsayers are at it again.

In the March article, I conclude that if there’s one thing I’ve come to understand (and something that acts as another contributor to my cynicism) about this environmental fascism, it boils down to the ability to pay salaries and pay mortgages for all these environmental activists. All the focus and enthusiasm and passion and whatever you can call it about the cause for environmentalism, is simply a cover for a direct route to government funding and donor funding for the environment. The environment and lobbying about global warming is a fashion statement for the next decade. In the 70’s women’s liberation was fashionable, in the 80s race relations was fashionable, in the 90s it was all about the gay and lesbian movement, this decade disability rights has become the new gay, and next decade, watch out for the fair trade consuming, bicycle riding, garbage recycling tree huggers.

For one, it’s hard to take anything that happens in the conference seriously if you consider that the Russian security services are being suspected for leaking ’toxic’ (forgive the pun) e-mails being bandied around – totally discrediting the whole environmental movement. Have all these scientist been lying to us about global warming all these years, or are the KGB back to their old tricks. It’s no wonder the sex workers in Copenhagen are seeing the event as pay day and nothing to do with our environment.
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Take for example, the Order of the Knights Templar – arguably the world’s first multi-national corporation who were pretty much responsible for inventing the banking system. They may have had their day between the 12th and 14th centuries – but during their time, they wielded unprecedented power through their economic resources that would rival the combined economic power of the so called G8. Of course they had their very own militia to boot, who operated with the ruthlessness of any fighting force known to man – but we’re not going to suggest that these “soldiers of the temple” were a bunch of thugs sanctioned by the Catholic church now, are we?

Fast forward to the 19th century and a bizarre, outlandish and surreal gathering by some European folks in Berlin in 1886 decided – “You know what, fuck it! We’re not going to survive out here going on like this – let’s all head out to Africa, colonize the bastards, and chop it up and divide it among ourselves. May the best country win”…hence the rise of the British Empire (and the rest of them of course)…

Like with many dynasties and empires, the Order of the Knights Templar and the British Empire have some common threads – their fall from grace was both inevitable and incredible, but more so, their downfall was driven by the fact that they were no longer relevant and were past their sell by date.

In the case of the Knights Templars, a clearly vindictive King Phillip of France used weaknesses stemming from the continued irrelevance of the templars to finish them off. Granted, there was a small matter of the King being indebted up to his eyeballs to the templars who financed his various unsuccessful wars (George Bush comes to mind here) against the British – and arresting them, torturing them, charging them pretty much with blasphemy and treason and killing them by roasting them on a stake – clearly provided a creative solution to sort his debts out. (*Makes a mental note that there are other ways of settling issues with creditors apart from paying them*)

In the case of the British empire, it became untenable that such a small island would continue to conquer the world and plunder the colonies in search of resources and raw materials to sustain their livelihoods. My only issue with the fall of the British empire is that there’s a wide spread myth that on the exit of the colonial masters, African countries actually achieved independence. “Independence from what?”, I normally ask. In Kenya’s case for example, all that happened on that cold December night in 1963 was that power passed from one set of seasoned thugs to another more unsavoury and locally bred bunch of bandits masquerading as freedom fighters.

I digress, but my point is – empires and world orders crumble because they’re no longer relevant in any given age. Fast forward again to this here world of ours in 2009, and the lessons history has taught us have come to play again.

The G8, in my view, a self imposed cabal of dodgy imperialists who decided to usurp the democratic space of the UN and impose themselves to the world as the giver and taker on the basis of their economic power – has had their time.

There was a time that they could claim that their economies warranted their exclusive club status, but like President Lula daSilva of Brazil recently undiplomatically articulated – “Have you seen an Indian or a black man having the power and resources to cause damage to the world economy? This mess was caused by blue eyed white people who think they know everything”. He was of course talking about the current global economic crisis.

The global financial crisis has not spared any of the so called developed countries. In fact, some are at the brink of negotiating with the IMF to bail them out. Mind you, this is an institution that the cabal members put in place without much thought to “sort” out the developing world – and created a culture that saw any country receiving money from the IMF as a pariah. The others have resorted to printing new money to buy out the radio-active assets that got us into this mess – but of course, they’ll call it quantitative easing or something fancy like that. Ask Robert Mugabe and he’ll tell you “those bastards are printing money like I did, don’t let them lie to you”…

. Now that the only justifiable basis for this cabal of 8 to exist has been removed out of the equation, you’ve got to ask yourself why they should even be taken seriously. They don’t have the economic power that they justified their existence as an exclusive club with.

Take the example of the last G8 meeting where the cabal sang to anyone who would listen that they had resolved to save the world’s environment, they had continued with their commitment to save Africa from itself, and had got Russia and America talking again.

Well, at least they decided to seriously examine cutting green house gas emissions in half by 2050. Any seasoned diplomat will tell you “seriously examine” is a euphemism for “let’s kick this fucker into the long grass”.

As for Africa and aid, don’t get me started. It’s tragic enough that the destiny of a whole continent is pinned on the eloquence and campaigning skills of ageing rock stars like Bono and Bob “give us your fucking money” Geldof – all the cabal decided to do was reiterate their commitment to supporting aid efforts in Africa. Talk about a broken record.

As for Russia and America talking – I guess the other European countries in the G8 have to make themselves look busy and relevant and force themselves as mediators. Besides, if they don’t, someone might notice that Brazil, Russia, India and China actually have more clout than they do on global economic and political matters.

When times were hard, a tactical move saw the emergence of the G20 with their first main summit recently in London. However, the talking shop that it was won’t change the fact that the entire continent of Africa was not properly represented at this jaunt. For good measure of course, they threw in a lame duck South African caretaker President so that they can tell the world “lookey right here – we have some folks from Africa too”….and there was one chap from NEPAD too – but if anyone needed an indication that Africa needs to take itself seriously and sort out its own issues, then here you are.

Gadaffi for all his longevity and staleness in political office may have been on to something when his first rallying call as AU president was for the formation of the United States of Africa. Set aside what you think of this old geezer, but there’s a visionary in this guy.

Clearly there’s a hell of a lot of distance still between the rhetoric of a United States of Africa and the reality of our dodgy and thug life leadership that sometimes makes you feel some African leaders should just be put into one stadium and shot.

However, there’s still a significant amount of merit in aspiring for more effective economic and political integration within Africa and for African leaders to be visionary enough to see the solutions to the continents problems as coming from within. A good start are the regional blocks like the EAC, ECOWAS and SADEC – but first, they have to work for the people within their regions, and I’m sure we all have a story about them.

I forget again why I was writing this article….Yeah! The agriculture ministers of the G8 countries are getting together to thrash out a solution to the pending world food crisis. Of course they’ll throw in someone from South Africa or something for good measure and maybe a stooge from a related UN agency to do some administration and follow up.

Don’t be surprised if all that happens is that a solution for Africa to whole heartedly embrace genetically modified food is presented as a saviour to this crisis. Nothing at all to do with pushing the corporate agendas of multi-nationals like Monsanto who have a bit of bad press out west and need a new market…God forbid, that would be immoral (*he says with some sarcasm*)

How about stopping farm subsidies that allow cheap European produce to flood developing countries and wipe out any chance of the African farmer to get something for their wares in a fair market? Maybe they’ll get a chance to survive enough to grow their own food to eat.
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If it wasn’t tragic enough, you could almost picture it:

Kenyan President Mwai Kibaki

To the left of the proverbial priest, a jaded and tired looking Emilio Mwana wa Kibaki, wearing the mystified face of a misguided, power-hungry incumbent – who’s eyes tell a tragic story of a shell shocked and politically disenfranchised character who stares blankly in wonderment about how things could have got so bad. If they could speak, Emilio’s eyes could have been heard constantly asking “They told me wananchi would complain for a few days then we’ll be back to Kazi iendelee. What the hell happened?”

Kenyan Prime Minister Raila Odinga

To the right, a bitter and frustrated Raila Odinga who feels that he’s been violently robbed of his date with destiny as the leader of a people. A man who has only to look in the mirror to recognize the contempt he holds for his partner in matrimony that lurks beneath the surface and is only held back by the desperation to salvage a justifiable sense of political restitution for an election he believes he has just won.

Former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan

Lurking in the shadows, the ever humble and diplomatic Kofi Annan, with the clear bulge of a heavy duty shot gun struggling to wrestle out of his immaculate suit. A man who’s biggest regret while Secretary General of the UN was that the Rwandan genocide took place on his watch and the UN apparatus was powerless to stop it or influence other players to stop the genocide. A man who’s face shows a steely determination of someone who has been given a second chance to redeem himself and will stop at nothing to ensure that what happened in Rwanda is not repeated in Kenya.

As Kibaki and Odinga take their vows, a representative congregation of an entire people of a nation watch with bated breath. They watch in anticipation hoping for an immediate cessation of violence. They watch and hope that the killing and mutilation will stop. They watch and hope that the gang rape and horrific violation of women and young girls will stop. They watch and hope that the country does not sink further into tribally fuelled anarchy.

Desperate father scrambling for safety with his 2 children through burning rubble during the post election violence on Jan 2nd 2008 in Mathare Slums.

One year on, has the marriage worked?

The blunt answer to that is Absolutely Not! The Kenyan leadership spearheaded by both Kibaki and Odinga has illustrated a spectacular level of incompetence that at best, is laughable, and at worst, tragic.

In fact, I’ll go as far as saying that the continued leadership of these two characters and their grand coalition government are a direct threat to the existence of the Kenyan society as we know it.

To illustrate my point, I’d like to take a step back and revisit some of the key issues that led us to where we are.

Many observers acknowledge that the discredited 2007 election was most certainly a trigger to the violence that was unleashed on Kenyans – where neighbours turned on each other, lawlessness became a cottage industry, over 1000 people lost their lives and hundreds of thousands were displaced from their homes.

However, before the 2007 election, all the ingredients of the dynamics of a classic civil war were already in place.

• The ethnic fragmentation caused by the 1992 and 1997 clashes in Rift Valley and the Coast province, as well as other pockets within the country.
• Long overdue constitutional reforms.
• Decades of flawed and failed policies that affected the livelihoods of huge sections of the population.
• Historical injustices and land grievances.
• Colonial legacies that encouraged and supported tribal politics in favour of nationalist politics as a divide and rule tactic.
• Wide spread poverty and economic inequalities
• Media hyperbole and irresponsible and unaccountable broadcasting.
• A betrayal of the hopes of the people by the NARC government elected in 2002 on a reform agenda.

Two things are quite disturbing at this point in time.

Firstly, none of the above historical and long term reforms have been addressed. The failed experiment of the grand coalition government has done nothing to give Kenyans any expectation that this lot of discredited leaders can run a bath or organize an empty drawer if their lives depended on it.

Secondly, despite the unanimous calls for change in leadership of a generational kind, there are few, if any, viable alternatives to the leaders in place at the moment.

On the first issue, it’s only a matter of time before another trigger unleashes the worst violence that Kenyans have ever seen. We console ourselves by rationalizing that we have learnt lessons from the violence of 2008, but clearly – the leadership have resorted to their own devices and are blissfully ignoring the ticking time bomb their sitting on and fuelling with their total disregard of the wishes of their electorate.

A brief lesson into the history and chronology of the Rwandan genocide will aptly illustrate how it’s possible for the seeds of a human catastrophe to be sown while we bury our heads in the sand and pretend that what happened in Rwanda will never happen to Kenya. The comparisons of the two scenarios are not far off by any measure.

On the second issue of lack of a viable leadership alternative – there is an unacceptable vacuum in leadership that exists because the next generation have not stepped up to the plate for whatever reason. A “every person for him/herself” unpatriotic attitude” – or the absolute fear of harm and retaliation, political assassinations and extra judicial killings unleashed by the old guard and the establishment on some younger upcoming leaders who have tried – may have put promising leaders off.

But leadership is not just needed in politics, it’s needed in enterprise, in public service administration, in health and social care, in development and in many other disciplines that are essential to keep the country ticking over day by day.

The revolution needed in Kenya to return the country back to the citizens who own it is made even more complicated by the fact that the old guard in power right now have blatantly illustrated the impunity by which they are going to cling to power by all means necessary – and if we want our country back, we’re going to have to take it back because the only exit strategy the old guard know is the kind that permanently relocates them 6 feet underground in a wooden box.
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In disbelief, Jed Bartlett angrily berates his intelligence chief by pointing out that his motorcade can’t move from K Street in the middle of DC to Connecticut without being picked up on a weather satellite. Aaron Sorkin and his production team obviously did their research well in coming up with a realistic depiction of the plot that is the challenging project of moving the most powerful man in the world from location A to location B.

Last night, London was treated to the real life rendition of this project when the US secret service pretty much commandeered central London to ensure that their boss had his “customary” no nonsense protection as he made his first long haul trip across the Atlantic. The RAF Northolt airbase, the UK’s equivalent of Andrews in Maryland (which normally hosts dignitaries and royalty), clearly wasn’t up to the job of hosting this circus and Stansted got the honour of going out of business for a little while as it hosted Airforce 1. The reality and sheer magnitude of the project of protecting President Obama and his wife is undoubtedly a more challenging proposition than the plot predicted in the TV series.

President Obama and First lady Michelle acknowledge well wishers as they disembark off Air Force 1 at Stansted Airport

Nevertheless, it’s hard to fail to admire the determination of the circus mentality shown by the American establishment as they lap up the opportunity to show the world that they’re the best at what they do, especially when it comes to protecting the big fella from Pennsylvania Avenue. To illustrate the sheer magnitude of this American circus, here are some facts about the project of Obama’s G20 trip:

• Obama is travelling with an estimated 500 to 600 personnel in his entourage. They won’t confirm the exact number as the mystery obviously adds to the spectacle of the circus.
• 200 of the folks travelling with him are secret service officers to cover the protection detail for him and his wife. One wonders how the rest of the entourage will be kept busy in Europe in the next 5 days.
• Apart from Airforce 1 and the second identical Boeing 747 that normally travels with the official plane as a decoy, Obama’s fully loaded Marine 1 helicopter is in town, together with the 2 or 3 equally loaded helicopters that fly together as decoys. The idea being no one really knows which plane he’s on. Clearly, they’ve been advised well on London traffic nightmares and he’s lucky he can afford using a helicopter around the capital to avoid the traffic.
• The beast is also in town to move him around where it’s not practical to use Marine 1. You can’t help but be fascinated with the sheer madness of this vehicle aptly named the beast. Apparently, apart from the out of this planet armoury that this limo has(most of which will make James Bond’s Aston Martin look like a rickshaw from a century ago), it’s also a moving hospital that carries oxygen as well as bottles of the president’s blood, not withstanding that there’s always a fully loaded ambulance in his motorcade.
• His 500 strong entourage also got to dodge the London traffic as they too have their fleet of American military Chinook helicopters to hop on to like the boss

Aside from the arrival circus witnessed by many well wishers waving the stripes and stars at Stansted airport, the most secure piece of real estate on the planet as of last night was Winfield House in Regents Park in central London. The private residence of the American Ambassador is sprawled over 12 acres and has the second largest private garden in London after Buckingham Palace. No problem there for the entourage to pitch up tents if they had to.

It’s a scene also reminiscent of an episode in the last season of the TV hit West Wing, where Matt Santos, the Latino presidential candidate causes a logistical nightmare when he decides to pop home for dinner and the secret service have to take over an entire suburban neighbourhood lock stock and barrel. Needless to say, the neighbours are least pleased as they pretty much have to provide their grandparent’s DNA profile (not literally – but you get the picture of course) to enter their homes, and Santos has to apologize about the circus to his wife Helen, who’s only comfort is the acknowledgement that at least they’re in the most secure neighbourhood in Texas if only for the night.

As a side note – it was interesting to note that the whole character of Matt Santos, the fictional Latino President in the TV hit The West Wing was inspired by the real life political story of Barrack Obama. Eli Adi and the West Wing writing team had the dilemma of not having a precedent to base a non-white presidential candidate on as part of the show’s plot. It was only after Obama’s stomp speech at the 2004 Democratic Convention in Boston in support of John Kerry, that the writers and producers homed in on the Obama inspiration for Santos’ character…..but clearly, I digress here….

So, is the circus in London going to be worth it?

We’ll see after the pomp and ceremony of the tea and reception with Aunt Liz and Uncle Phil at Buckingham Palace, and the Jamie Oliver dinner later in the evening being prepared for the heads of state at Downing Street (well, that’s if Jamie’s heavily pregnant wife doesn’t go into labour – otherwise it’s the local take away for the big fellas).

Incidentally, the spouses of the heads of state don’t get to eat with the big boys at the high table. They get relegated to the long grass of the back room dining areas with the consolation of a few celebs like JK Rawling, Dame Kelly Holmes and Naomi Campbell thrown in for a spectacle. Funny, if I was cynical, I would suggest that the inclusion of black celebs in the dinner for the first ladies is an obvious stunt to make Michelle feel less awkward (would they do that….Nooooo!). Barrack doesn’t have an identity problem and doesn’t need props seeing that he’s the X Factor that is calling the shots – it comes with being the most powerful man in the world. The folks out back are still figuring out how to handle Michelle, but yet again, I digress.

To the more serious matter of the jaunt at the Excel Centre on Thursday where the hopes of the world’s economic future is pinned on a 4 and a half hour G20 meeting. Will they achieve anything of substance? Absolutely not! As they’ll say, it’s a step in the right direction and we’re focused on stimulating the economy, in regulation and in making the IMF almighty and all powerful so that they can screw up developing countries even more.

Brazilian President Lula daSilva will still go back home blaming the blue eyed white folk for having fixed nothing after their breath taking and spectacular incompetence in screwing up the world’s economy, the Metropolitan Police and British Security Services will have spent £20 million in the security operation of the decade (it will be a good dry run for the 2012 Olympics though – but an expensive dry run all the same), and the biggest spectacle will be the numerous battles with the street protestors of different persuasion – from fair trade consuming, tree hugging, environmental mercenaries, to those convinced that this is the perfect opportunity to kill capitalism, to folks just pissed off that they don’t have jobs.

My personal opinion is that if any of these leaders had any vision of changing life permanently for generations to come, they’d actually kick this talk of fixing the world economy in 4 hours into the long grass and be bold enough to conclude the Doha round of world trade talks that would ensure free trade without protectionism and ridiculous tariffs that hit the poorest countries in the world.

All signatures needed for this will be in the room – the question is that of whether they’ll have the balls to do it and fix, as Lula daSilva says, the mess caused by greedy blue eyed white folk.Related Articles:

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I must admit, I’m not a fan of Jacqui Smith, the UK Home Secretary, but even a stone cold approach to some issues in life doesn’t stop me from empathizing with her, regardless of the spectacular stupidity of this matter. Deep down she must be wondering what the fuck hit her as she looks in the mirror and tries to contemplate whether to castrate her husband for the public humiliation, or whether to cry because of the heartbreak.

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith leaving for a very long day at work

Clearly, the irony of the timing of the leak about her expenses claim that paid for pornographic movies with tax payers money isn’t past the cynical mind of someone from the enemy camp with excellent sabotage skills. I don’t think its coincidence that the leak comes just before one of Jacqui’s biggest moments on the international political stage, as she prepares her security apparatus to host probably the most powerful 20 leaders in the world in London. Apparently, MP’s now want the Police to investigate who leaked her dirty old secret out – are they afraid their skeletons are coming out next?

Gordon her boss must be thinking – “The damn bastards”. If it’s not enough that he’s gallivanting the world in an attempt to rally G20 folks into buying his global financial master plan, the enemy has to unleash this madness onto the stage.

Gordon Brown’s job already looks like a lost cause that is tantamount to him trying to herd cats, but this Jacqui Porngate affair is just the stuff that comedy is made of.

As for Jacqui’s hubby Dick, it looks like he’ll have to do with the sofa for a while as she cools off. I don’t know which is actually more stupid on his part – Watching hardcore porn on the family TV pay per view account, or getting caught by stupidly letting his wife claim the cost of the porn movies from tax payers, lest she asks why she shouldn’t be claiming it and he has to admit that he’s been a naughty boy.

Jacqui Smith’s husband Richard Timney apologizing to the media for his moment of madness

He’ll probably plead insanity and claim that she’s been starving him of his conjugal rights hence his creativity looking for alternative entertainment – but with a good stint on the sofa, chances are he’s not getting pussy for a while.

Either way, the biggest question in Britain right now is “What were those 2 porn movies that he watched?”. Talk about free advertising handed to the producers of the movies on a plate.Related Articles:

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Answer: For differing reasons, they have all been responsible for some of the world’s biggest and most severe violations of civil liberties of the poor old folks that they proclaim to lead or have led.

George Orwell (if he could), must have a smug and uncanny smile on his face that has that characteristic “I told you bastards so” look. Look at any plot in his 1984 master piece and you get this queasy feeling that George was definitely onto something that will scare the living daylights out of any self respecting individual who values their privacy.

I’m not particularly interested in this article to talk about or even argue the case and justification for the different ways in which the so called leaders above implemented their totalitarian dictatorships….far from that. Trying to compare and contrast the good guys from the bad guys in that list will give me a headache. What is a constant is that they all have, are, or are intending to take a place in history as those responsible for the massive and ruthless violation of the civil liberties of their citizens, in the name of a better and more grander cause for the good of the majority.

Why am I writing about this? Well, for a long time now, it’s been common knowledge that big brother Britain was slowly descending down the slippery slope into a 21st century police state. You can’t go anywhere in this country without being in range of a CCTV camera which will catch anything from a bemused smile as you indulge in self wonderment of an individual kind, or the quick adjustment of your dodgy underwear that is violating the sacred crevasse in between your bum cheeks, to the violent criminal activities that go on in every street corner.

The National Health Service has been trying for years (thank God for the incompetence in technology implementation to put in place a global central database of patient’s most intimate medical and psychological issues apparently to streamline the system and make medical support at the point of contact more accessible and a more efficient experience…at least that’s what they say – though the thought of every Thomas, Dickson and Harriet knowing that you have mental health issues or genital herpes before you even say hello at the GP’s reception doesn’t amuse any 3 dimensional individual.

A few months ago, a stealth law was introduced in the British parliament under the guise of “Anti-terror” legislation that every single email, sms text and phone call was going to be recorded and monitored as a strategy to defend the citizens of the country against acts of terror. It’s amazing that there wasn’t enough time given to debating this law and letting folks really understand how ridiculous it is.

Gordon’s government hasn’t had enough….now they want to monitor and record every web site and social networking activity that internet users make. Recording our email and phone calls is not enough – Nooo! Let’s go ahead and record every single thing they do or say on Facebook, MySpace and other social networking sites. Frankly speaking, I’ll be amazed if they get anything from the crap that’s written on folks walls on Facebook, but that’s not the point here…

The thought that it won’t be long before you’ll have to ask the government for permission to take a piss, or apply for a licence to have sex, or have your friends on Facebook or those who e-mail you be under surveillance because of what both of you were supposed to have said makes my stomach turn. And for what? Supposedly to save us from the imminent threat of a terror attack?.

This smirks of a classic case of “Problem, Reaction, Solution”, a strategy that has been used to oppress masses for time immemorial. Create a problem (usually calculated but can be opportunistic), create a massive reaction and outcry from the populous, and then provide a solution that stamps your authority on a desired political, social and financial order that satisfies your agenda.

All this nonsense about fighting and winning the so called Dubya’s war on terror is becoming blatantly annoying. If there’s an enemy out there, they must be laughing their arses like nobody’s business. Look at how terrified and clueless citizens have their liberties violated in places like airports where they’re herded like the sheep they are, barefoot and forced to hold clear paper bags for inspection like those suspected of exceeding their food rations in a prisoner of war camp before they board a flight. Some airports are even trialing thermal imaging x-rays that see through clothes as you pass security – now this is not even funny….and passengers don’t even have a clue.

…And all this for what? To save us from the big bad ugly terrorist. You know, folklore has constantly shown that one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter. Take Charles dGaulle for example. This dude was at one time seen as the nemesis of all things civilized in France and actually branded a terrorist. Now look at what they call him. Besides, who gets to decide who is a terrorist…what’s the difference between those supposedly living in caves and using crude methods of destruction and those wearing Savile Row suits, sitting in plush offices in the safety of a security blanket and sanction the killing of hundreds and thousands of civilians using an expensive pen to sign a decree.

You know, if I was cynical, I’d actually suggest that Gordon’s government need a serious smoke screen and side show to change the agenda from the fact that Britain is running bankrupt and its a result of spectacular incompetence over the last 10 to 15 years in fiscal management that saw the City and Wall street get away with Casino style gambling of the economy. No prizes for guessing who was in charge of the coffers then.

If all fails, scare the shit out of the public with immanent threats of terror (by the way, whatever happened to that traffic light system in the states where people were shafted around based on someone’s decision to change the terror alert by traffic lights – green for somewhat OK, amber for vigilance….you catch my drift, but I digress) – and once the public are shit scared, take their liberties from them and tell them it’s the only way to save their lives.

And all this from a government with the worst record in the storage and security of sensitive public data (or if you prefer, the best record in losing sensitive public data). Those in charge of data security don’t even seem like being capable of hitting a barn door with a shotgun and they want to record every single email, phone call, sms, where folks go on the web and what they do or say on social networking web sites.

I wonder which is worse…someone violating you and they make no effort in hiding the fact that they’re violating you, or someone who violates you when they’re pretending that their reason for doing so is solely to protect you from the big bad wolf outside.Related Articles:

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Or maybe, a conference about “The Kenya we want” that is fronted by the old school establishment of unsavoury, incompetent and outright dodgy characters who have had over 40 years to provide the Kenya folks needed in the first place but failed spectacularly. (Speaking of which – what was the point in holding a conference when the answer to the question of “What Kenyans want?” is succinctly captured in breathtaking precision in the Kenyan national anthem).

Anyway, it was interesting to note that once again, there was a “high profile” (this word is as abused as the word normal coz’ clearly, it’s a relative state of affairs) conference bringing together the good and the great who classify themselves as world experts on poverty alleviation and eradication.

If there’s one thing that I have a problem rationalizing, it’s the fact that there’s an actual discipline that is taught and theorized by elite folks out here in the west, that purports to know how to eliminate poverty for the world’s poorest folk. I suppose my view is somewhat compounded by the misguided self-righteousness of some folks in this poverty and aid industry who see it as their destiny and God given right to go out and save the people of the world. William Easterly couldn’t have put it any better in his classic book “The White man’s burden”.

The aid and development industry is a self fulfilling prophecy and in a ruthless and cynical way, its survival depends on the continued existence of poverty. There are folks in this industry who have mortgages, bills to pay, kids to go to school and you know, day to day obligations that need to be met. That really isn’t an incentive to run themselves out of a job presumably by eliminating poverty, is it?

So the British government in a desperate bid to show that they are actually taking the lead in global matters decide to hold a global conference to bring together the world’s top experts on global poverty. The “let’s bust poverty around the world” elite spent two days in the plush surroundings of 5 star lobbies and conference rooms in central London discussing short and medium term strategies to support the poorest countries in the world who will be worst affected by the global economic crisis.

Funny, it cost them over £527,000 to host the conference, which is a touch ironic considering the grand purpose of the big picture they’re constantly telling us about….”over x and y number of people in Africa live with less than a dollar a day….yada yada”. £527,000 could have paid for 127,000 anti-malaria nets and is actually more than Britain’s annual aid budget to Namibia.

There was a chance I could have actually taken this more seriously if they held it say in Ouagadougou or the far reaches of southern Asia where the realism of what they’re purporting to do could be the back drop of the discussions….but of course they’ll say, our conference in London was representative and had delegates from the poorest countries in the world. Of course, let’s wheel in the token poverty struck Chair of a so called partner NGO, put him or her in a suit bought somewhere in Shepherds Bush, fast track their visa application through the embassy and parade them to the British media and say – see, we have poor people with us. We even let them speak on stage.Related Articles:

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Take Kibera for example. Rightfully or wrongly, this stretch of Nairobi real estate that spans over 2.5 sq km (give or take a football pitch either side) – has garnered a world-wide reputation for being the largest slum in Africa with at least 1 million residents.
A first assumption you’d make is that the government in Kenya or some form of reliable public body or statistics agency actually did a head count and figured out that the number of folks who live in Kibera topped 1 million.

The veracity of such an assumption is not lost to those wondering whether you can fit that number of folks in an area (which can be measured accurately and not estimated) the size of Kibera. In mid 2008, Stefano Marras, a mapping specialist, took the plunge and decided to scientifically quantify a reliable estimate of Kiberas population. Marras wrote in summary to his mapping exercise

“…looking upon the data reported, and considering that type, dimension and distribution of the buildings observed in Kianda is typically the same in the whole slum of Kibera, it is possible to make a guess about the numerical dimension of its population. Considering that its area of Kibera is set between 2.3 and 2.5 sq km, the total population living in the slum can be most likely estimated between 220,000 and 250,000 people”.

So why the over-inflated estimates of those confined to the hardship of slum dwelling in Africa’s most renowned informal settlement. Conventional wisdom would suggest there are many parties that benefit. Politicians for one, have become seasoned tacticians unmoved about using the plight of poverty stricken slum dwellers to further their own political ambitions. Kenyan politicians don’t hold this monopoly – look around at the influence of politics in the slums of Asia or even right across the world in South America – say in Venezuela where Hugo Chavez enjoys absolute support for his socialist agenda from majority of their slum dwelling population.

Other players who benefit from the inflated population estimates are NGOs, the manifestation of the cynicism and fallacy that is the aid and development industry. The survival of this industry (clearly a topic for another post on its own merit) is dependent on the perpetuation of poverty at its highest extremes. The sustainability of this poverty helps fund mortgages and lifestyles for development experts on all manner of disciplines who believe it’s their destiny to change the world.

It can also be argued that the residents of Kibera themselves may benefit from the inflated figures as they solicit sympathy and funding from aid sources to celebrities of the ilk of Chris Rock and Simon Cowell. It’s a twisted interpretation of the tenets of Darwin’s survival of the fittest theory. Short of getting a job – the aid and development industry will fund this madness.

The media are also complicit in this spin of convenience. Some Kenyan journalists (if I can be allowed to qualify this generalization) in particular are known for their misguided enthusiasm and sensationalism in their reporting of events – so the accolade of having ‘Africa’s biggest slum’ falls right down their street.

Truth is – Kibera is probably just Nairobi’s biggest slum. And if you think about it, a similar exercise would probably factor down the population estimates of other Nairobi slums.

One interesting question is about how money flows within the slum. Marras estimates that over 96% of folks in Kianda area alone pay rent to someone – and this easily aggregates to a monthly income of around £45,000. Even in Europe, that is a windfall – and the capital gains tax alone on this income can fund some basic public services in the area. Who gets this money?

Renato Sesana, an Italian journalist and missionary observes:
“Marras did this work with funds from a scholarship, using an amount that in the average project financed by any European country would fall under “contingencies” or “stationery”. Yet he has accomplished a task of great value and that is scientifically outstanding, such that from now onwards, no government or NGO project conducted in Kibera can afford to disregard his data”.

The thing is this though – the more the unchallenged and convenient assumptions go on about Kibera, the faster the slum realities become a self fulfilling prophecy.Related Articles:

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The British are now making concerted noises about the fact that the number of foreign workers in the land of the queen has doubled in the last 10 years to 3.8 million. I’m not sure yet whether this is the primary fact that irks those shouting about it – or its the fact that over 66% of these foreign workers were born outside the European union.

These noises are of course amplified in the background of British folks losing jobs left, right and centre – and for the most part, the average Jo Public is still trying to understand the magnitude of this beast they’re calling the credit crunch.

I’ve never been one to believe statistics after my maths lecturer in college taught me how statistics can be used to manipulate any message we want – and politicians can be uncanny at blowing smoke up our arses with statistics to boot.

Case in point a certain Marion Berry as Mayor of Washington DC shamelessly saying “Apart from the murders and killings, the crime rate in DC has really gone down”.

I think that the suggested percentage rise of foreign workers against the locals is neither here nor there (although some would argue otherwise), but it provides classic fodder for opposition politicians who are quickly developing a dangerous brand of “let’s blame the bastards in office” game – especially when the stakes are really high.

It’s a dangerous game because the pawns in the game are vulnerable people who have lost their jobs, their savings, their livelihoods, and the future doesn’t look as bright as Orange told them it was going to be.

It’s a dangerous game because the only alternative the opposition politicians have in lieu of viable and tangible policies that rival the “bastards in office” – is to scare the hell out of voters and then tell them who’s to blame for the mess they’re in.

The irony is that British politicians don’t hold the monopoly of this sadistic tactic – it’s almost like shafting electorates in the period before elections is a God given right for politicians world over.
Isn’t it also ironic that on a good day, the same politicians peddle the virtues of globalization and its benefits to the world with free movement of people and ideas – and on a bad day, they go postal on our arses with controversial messages laced with elements of protectionism that perpetuate “a”them vs. Us” state of affairs?

As sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, globalization in its current rendition of economic migration and free movement of people dictates that you get a taste of it in your own backyard.
The west has had its rampant gallivanting around the world for hundreds of years “conquering” most of it for its own purposes of survival – and it’s difficult to see in this day and age how they’re going to change the fact that there’s folks from the rest of the world and the former empire who want and demand a piece of that action – with some having the belief that its their God given right.

Politicians should stop saber rattling in the name of initiating debate as economic migration is a fate accompli as long as they continue their neo-colonial and imperialistic actions and attitudes and using an unsavoury brand of diplomacy to dictate a new world order.
Of course, many will tell you to refer to this as aid and development assistance to the 3rd world. How dare you call it neo-colonial imperialism.Related Articles:

• Why do we rarely ask Why?

This is how I know:

1. I write a lengthy perspective article on a current issue about civil rights that is quite controversial and involves outright violation of an individual’s civil liberties.
2. I publish the post and blogger confirms that its published.
3. I view the post and Internet Explorer tells me that it’s not possible to open my blog and that the operation has been aborted.
4. My blog is live because I can test all the other permanent links from other posts and I can view them this way
5. I publish a test post (without any controversy or drama) and it publishes and views fine
6. I edit my hot post and remove certain keywords that are being watched – usually for the sake of national security) and republish the post, and I get the same blog aborted message.
7. I publish this post

Lakini some people jomoko yawa….

How did we get to the stage of stopping bloggers live from publishing controversial material that IS a matter of civil liberties – and because they’re potentially embarrassing? And the damn frigging news is in the public domain….

SHAME ON YOU! LOL!Related Articles:

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However, when it gets to the stage of threatening someone with 14 years in prison as a guest of Her Majesty Aunt Liz, for the crime of providing accurate and necessary information that needs to be out in the open, then the old adage of truth and freedom becomes as cynical as the concept of an honest politician. Granted, the chap in question is an officer of some decorative rank in the British army, but his interpretation of the often touted “Official Secrets Act” deserves another medal on his breast plate, if not a pat on the back.

Clearly, we’ve all known that NATO and allied forces in Afghanistan have been feeding us bullshit about the numbers of civilian casualties, in Bush’s disastrous so called ‘War on terror’. In their (the military and politicians) misguided enthusiasm to test the understanding of the public’s intelligence, they often want us to believe that their superior military precision and advance weaponry and rockets can manoeuvre corners, navigate traffic lights, pass through open windows, and knock on an enemy’s door before exploding just when the enemy opens the door – therefore keeping civilian casualties to a minimum.

Lt. Colonel Owen McNally clearly had a morality attack (or maybe he was just getting some on the side and gave in to pillow talk – who knows…) – it gets to a point where the motivation for unleashing the info becomes an irrelevance. He has been arrested by the British authorities for revealing very ‘sensitive’ information to a female human rights campaigner he befriended in Afghanistan, alluding to the true numbers of civilian casualties in the Afghanistan war.

The public have clearly been lied to about the true numbers of civilians dying. Pray tell why we want to throw the book and entire legal cabinet at someone who feels that keeping this info from the public is wrong. Slapping the official secrets act as a blanket all clauses gagging order for someone who is telling the truth about the true cost of this war is more repugnant than the tactics of the so called bad guys that they’re chasing out there.

Read McNally’s story here
Apparently, American generals are also pissed off like a nonsense. Funny, they have enough trouble minimizing the Dover effect by keeping the numbers of military body bags arriving back in the states away from the glare of the public…without some British loose cannon on deck unleashing true numbers of civilian casualties.Related Articles:

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Everyone is complaining that they’ve got too much month left at the end of the money, folks have seen their life savings disappear faster than you can say Lehman Brothers, and the skeletons of a greedy and unscrupulous financial sector are surfacing at the top of the sea so fast, it’s almost like someone down there is chucking them loose with a machete. businesses of all manner are struggling to meet cash flow requirements and sales targets, forcing redundancies and business failures.

Last week may have seen the manifestation of the ordinary person’s anger, frustration, anxiety and fear that is brewing and simmering below the surface, as the so called economic experts and gurus, as well as world leaders continue to dither, fumble and engage in significant intellectual masturbation under the guise of saving the world’s economic order and financial infrastructure. It’s not uncommon to hear news of another world leaders, or financial ministers G8 or G20 meeting, or some EU organized meeting where dignitaries and experts just seem to do little but threaten us with a solution to this economic mess. A mess which I might add that for lack of a better explanation, they have been perpetrators of, either knowingly or by the incompetence of their inaction and omission.

A few examples of the manifestation of this frustration by the public:

1. Last week in the UK, wild cat strikes erupted all over the country, prompted by a decision to bring in hundreds of Italian and Portuguese workers as contractors in favour of British workers, for a £200 million plant at the giant Lindsey Oil Refinery in North Lincolnshire. Unions claimed British workers never even saw the job applications, let alone get a chance to compete for the jobs.

   
   Protestors at the Lindsey Oil Refinery in North Lincolnshire – UK

2. In France last week, over a million people united in protest in a strike that highlighted their dissatisfaction with the way the French government were handling their economic woes. Most people in France are angry that the banking and financial sectors got a get out of jail free card worth billions of Euros, while the ordinary man on the street and his business continue to languish. Not that France is a stranger to mass strikes and protests, but this one last week was sanctioned by over 75% of the union movement.

   
   French protestors in Paris at last week’s strike

3. In Russia, protesters are calling for the head of Vladimir Putin and the resignation of his government. The economic slowdown in Russia is triggering a wave of public discontent that most political commentators fear will destabilize Russia. Following the success of last week’s protests, the communist opposition party is threatening to mobilize masses around the country to express their anger and dissatisfaction about the economic slowdown.

Managing strikes and street protests, Russia style

If there’s anything you learn from strike action and protests, its that it provides an environment for a snowball of activity to easily take hold and assume a life of its own. This is a constant factor that doesn’t change – evident right from the first known strike in history by workers of the Royal court of Pharaoh Ramses III of the 20th Dynasty in 12th century BC in ancient Egypt, to the brazen tactics of the sailors in London in 1768 who ”struck” and sabotaged the sails of ships at dock in protest (incidentally, the derivation of the term strike) – through to the teamsters in the 1930s wielding pipes and clashing with armed police in the streets of Minneapolis, to the more recent strikes of yesteryear that have brought public services to its knees.

In most if not all of the examples of strike action of recent generations, governments, authorities and employers have had some control and leeway in developing solutions that would talk down the strikers and protesters into considering acceptable arrangements for their grievances. What is glaringly obvious, and actually very dangerous in this case, is that governments, industry and whoever might care to call themselves a stakeholder haven’t got tangible solutions that will get us all out of this self inflicted quagmire.

Most of the so called experts, politicians and economic advisers are spending enough time navel gazing and plotting solutions in their smoke filled conference rooms in the bubble of 5 star hotels in the west, that its hard to see how they continue to muster the nerve and the audacity to stand in front of cameras and proclaim to the world that they’re fixing the world’s economy. Forget the fact that most of these punks had a hand in getting us credit crunched in the first place. As for fat cat bankers of the city and wall street who think this is just a blip and continue to live like it’s a cycle that is natural and will correct itself, the words arrogance and impunity come to mind – but I digress. This is not the post to dedicate to our anally retentive banking fat cats.

What is worrying is that it will only be a matter of time before the anger, anguish, frustration, anxiety and desperation of the people who have to face high food and fuel costs, stare at unemployment’s ugly face, and battle with the constant dilemma of finding new and legal ways to feed their children –will explode up onto the street with the citizenry of the world demanding that their governments do something about it. Some will say that this explosion of public anger is not a badthing after all – its our taxes being shafted in the name of fixing the economy.

Matter of fact, it’s already happening in scenarios that people may not necessarily connect, but the scenarios are part of the bigger picture of public discontent.. Case in point, the situation with teachers in Kenya, who don’t even know whether they’ll be paid next month – let alone get arrears in salary owed to them, while bandits and crooks masquerading as Kenyan members of parliament defy all expectations of convention and refuse to pay tax – and even legislate their refusal to do so. Did I mention that these punks are the highest paid legislators in the world taking home over US$17,970 a calendar month each, tax free and while teachers can’t even buy lunch at school, pay for their transport and feed their families?Related Articles:

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Once in a while you get a classic example of the madness of political correctness unleashed on unsuspecting souls. Take Caroline Petrie for example, a devout Christian and community nurse going on about her business, with an added optional extra of an offer to pray for the patient Kind of like – would you like a biscuit with that tea, or can I take your coat for you, or do you want me to open the door for you type of optional extra….or maybe not…

Read Caroline’s story here. She is at risk of losing her job and even getting struck off the nursing register for offering to pray for a 79 year old patient. Maybe one of the mafioso saw a funny side to this if it turned out that Caroline was offering elder patients their last prayer before death came calling, whilst all the while fronting as a community nurse.

I personally think the mafioso administrators were just bored and running out of ideas to justify their salaries.Related Articles:

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Barrack Obama had probably plotted his first 100 days in office with clinical precision and an anticipation of some teething problems, giving him enough time and wind in his sails to focus on the US economy and the debris in Iraq and Afghanistan that Eagle 43 left in the Oval office in-tray on his way to a leafy suburb of North Dallas. As regular as clockwork, the executive orders rolled out in the first few days to show the world that Eagle 44 was a man of substance who was serious about meeting policy change promises made during his campaign, not least the closure of the torture chambers at Guantanamo Bay.

But just like conventional wisdom would suggest, well laid plans get blindsided like a nonsense, and there’s really nothing you can do about that. Granted, Obama’s team rightly anticipated that closing Guantanamo bay is going to be more than a project, but I doubt if they expected their first live grenade with it to be a one 30 year old Binyam Mohammed from Ethiopia.

Binyam Mohammed who claims he was tortured in Guantanamo bay

See, in 2004 someone decided to lock up Binyam in Guantanamo bay and throw away the key. This was after flying him around on renditions to places like Morocco and Pakistan, and torturing him for 18 months. In an effort to limit the reputational damage that the US has suffered, they supposedly extended him the courtesy of a full and fair trial, though they didn’t anticipate the enthusiasm of Binyam’s pro bono lawyers from the UK.

As he is a UK resident, his lawyers have successfully made a claim at the high court in the UK that his confessions were extracted under extreme torture, and he did what any person who had no option would do – confess so that the pain and anguish would stop. He describes some of what they put him through including being regularly hang from ceilings, his genitals and chest being sliced by surgical instruments, and hot liquid being poured into the wounds.

The charge put to him is that he allegedly trained with Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan in preparation to carry out terrorist attacks in the UK. One problem now posed by the success of his legal team to have the accounts of torture heard by 2 justices of the high court, is that the accounts provided by American interrogators having been recognized as torture by the court, are now admissible. Which means that they fall into the public domain and the ‘Freedom of Information’ hawks from the press and the civil liberties groups are hovering around like a vulture would over a carcass of a wildebeest slain in the Maasai Mara.

Binyam’s defence is straight forward – “I was in the wrong place at the wrong time”. But that’s not the crux of this piñata for Obama. The problem for Obama is that he has gone out of his way to wax lyrical about his disdain and intolerance of torture, and the fact that America must not choose between liberty and dignity, and their national security. This is clearly a blunt policy change from the neo-con hawk policies of Rumsfeld and Bush that condoned torture and sanctioned the US military’s unilateral desecration of article 3 of the Geneva convention.

The British government’s case is that the high court, whilst accepting the account of events in this case as a matter for the defence, must keep it out of the public domain for national security reasons. The Americans have issued an explicit threat that if this ‘torture’ information got out in the public domain, then the US will withhold intelligence from the UK, which is in itself an implicit threat to the security of UK citizens and residents. The court whilst agreeing to keep the info secret, did not hesitate to unleash a tirade of condemnations of how the British government had stooped so low, not only to be shafted yet again by the US, but to have the audacity to preach to the world about the virtues of democracy and liberty – yet British security services are clearly complicit in their view, to acts of torture. The government of course are denying this – but what choice do they have.

The questions for Obama then become very uncomfortable:

1. Does his administration stand by the explicit threat (made by the Bush administration) of withholding intelligence if documents about the torture of Binyam – which have been accepted as facts to consider by the court – are released to the British public and the world?
2. If not, why the hell did he lie to the world during his campaign and at his inauguration that he will change all policies and redress America’s position on torture?
3. If he doesn’t change the position on that threat on the basis of “national security” – how does he expect people to take him seriously and even think that he was credible?

On the other hand, Obama has a massive opportunity to score a powerful and extremely loud early goal in foreign policy and signal to the world that things have changed and let the court release the details of the torture. Clearly, it will not only be politically embarrassing to the US and the UK, but it will further damage the reputation of both countries. He can get away with it by blaming Bush – but has he got the cojones to do it? The British are scared of asking him of his position.Related Articles:

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What caught my attention was an interview that the BBC had with Kenyan Prime Minister Raila Odinga this morning. Zimbabwe unsurprisingly, is one of the topics round the coffee table and around the water coolers, and Raila Odinga is seeking political support amongst world leaders in Davos for an exit strategy for Robert Mugabe. What’s surprising is that this suggestion (its been mooted in the past), has never been followed up seriously.

Raila’s position is that Mugabe should be offered a Golden handshake and immunity from prosecution for any crimes of humanity against the Zimbabwean people, and a safe passage to a safe haven where he can retire in peace and die slowly. I actually wouldn’t mind if Kenya offered him that safe passage and a nice cosy retirement pad with a couple of sentries guarding his gates, if it means that the Zimbabwean people are going to have a chance at rebuilding their lives, sooner rather than later.

The problem seems to be the old school cabal of African leaders who have a lot to lose and need to protect themselves, hence their blind and unflinching support for Mugabe. Many African leaders have entered office and retained power in ways not dissimilar to Mugabe’s unsavoury tactics, including Kenya’s own President, Emilio Mwai mwana wa Kibaki. So for all intents and purposes, moral authority amongst African leaders is a rare commodity.

The question is…has anyone else got the cojones to encourage Bob to take his golden handshake? His flamboyant wife, Lady Grace, the first shopper of Zimbabwe, might have a re-entry problem back into civilian life, but nothing like a good old dose of reality will help bitch slap her back into the land of the living.Related Articles:

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Kenyans most seasoned bandits who regularly masquerade as members of parliament are perhaps most infamous for two outstanding acts of impunity:

1. They’re the highest paid legislators in the world, despite Kenya being one of the poorest countries in the world and having a human development index ranking of 148 out of 177.
2. They have illustrated the highest and most insulting level of impunity by not only refusing to pay taxes on allowances, they’ve actually legislated against paying these taxes.

The most basic thing you learn about leadership, is the importance of exemplifying in your every day actions, the values and virtues you purport to stand for or represent. Forget the fact that tax evasion or tax avoidance can be argued to be a criminal offence, the actions of Kenyan legislators defy belief in illustrating how totally out of this planet and out of touch with reality these low life punks are. Kenyans are experiencing possibly the worst economic hardships that our generation has seen, with massive unemployment, a looming famine affecting over 10 million people, a truck load of social and development challenges, and I don’t know what else, and these so called members of the August house shamelessly rape the country with their impunity in self preservation.

I’d like to illustrate this point with some figures (credited to some good research by the Nairobi Star

• Including salary, benefits and allowances, the monthly (Yes – monthly) take home pay for a Kenyan member of parliament is Kshs. 1,435,846 (US$ 17,970 per month). Considering this is mostly tax free, it equates to a monthly gross income of over Kshs. 2,000,000 (US$ 25,031 gross per month)
• The single biggest expenditure per MP is a personal allowance equating to an average of Kshs. 700,000 per month (US$ 8,760 per month). The personal allowance caters for (among other things) house allowance, responsibility allowance (now this one is just a classic, being paid to be responsible), entertainment allowance (Kshs. 67,000 – can you believe this?), transport (not even car allowance, just transport), extraneous allowances (this I’d like to find out more, domestic servants allowances, attendance, constituency and car maintenance allowances.
• In addition to the car maintenance allowance and the transport allowance, each MP gets a mileage claim allowance, which added together, gives you a grand total of an allowance of Kshs. 629,000) per month (US$ 7,872) to run a vehicle.
• Each MP has also received a grant of Kshs. 3,300,000 (US$ 41,301) to buy a car, and by the way, the import duty on these so called official cars are paid for them.
• MPs and their entire families are insured for personal and health insurance equating to Kshs. 51,000 per year per MP.
• Parliament also has a capital grant fund of Kshs. 400 million (US$$ 5,006,257) to the mortgage fund capital to assist MPs to buy houses (which begs the question – where were these punks living before?”

We haven’t even considered the expenses for running constituency offices. I’m getting a migraine just thinking of it.

You know what’s sad is that there are people walking the streets looking for every available opportunity, however small, to put food on the table for their families. On a good day, they’ll get one meal, and many others go without something to eat, and not because of lack of trying. You don’t even have to struggle to count those who’ve resorted to commercial sex work as the only alternative to feed their own, or to supplement what meagre resources they have.

…and these bandits shamelessly call themselves leaders of Kenya.Related Articles:

• Kenya’s shot gun wedding: Self Destructing to Irretrievable Chaos

Without detracting from the significance of the event and the expectations the world has of this 47 year old son of a Kenyan, the circus and madness that has accompanied his ascendancy into office needs to be addressed. It was necessary and acceptable to celebrate Obama’s victory and inauguration – but seriously, enough is enough and folks need to get a grip of themselves.

I’ll give you a couple of examples (and these are just a tip of the iceberg):

• This video of Obama victory celebrations in Kisumu illustrates euphoria getting the better of folk…(look out for the interviewee unleashing all the big words he can muster.
• The hullabaloo of Kenyan government officials clambering for a place in a dodgy delegation travelling to the US for the inauguration. Apart from Obama’s family from Kogello, no Kenyan government officials had a God given right to use tax payers money for an expedition to Washington DC. No heads of state or official foreign delegations are ever invited to presidential inaugurations, and this was no exception. Furthermore, Kenya has an official emissary whose job it is to represent the country at official functions, so it should have been left to the Kenyan Ambassador to the US to attend on our behalf – and if he needed moral support, he has a colleague working as the Kenyan Ambassador to the UN down the road in New York.

Enough has been said about the shenanigans of government officials in this drama of “a must attend bash in DC”, so I won’t say much on that, suffice to say that the above examples and many more that have been in the news illustrate the extent to which this issue has taken over people’s lives, particularly in Kenya.

My 2 cents in this matter:

1. Yes, Obama is significantly more charismatic and inspirational than his predecessor, but this guy cannot walk on water.
2. Obama’s priority is absolutely the domestic issues in the United States – not surprisingly because he is their elected leader (and not a Kenyan politician).
3. Obama’s in-tray dictates that he has no time to focus on much outside domestic economic policy except to clean up the mess that is George Bush’s so called wars on terror and stop Israel bombing the hell out of Iran’s nuclear experiment.
4. Without fixing the economic nightmares in the US, Obama is not even going to get anywhere, let alone a second term in office – the US economy is his make or break, it’s the albatross hanging around his neck.
5. Obama clearly doesn’t feel as inclined to worship his Kenyan roots in comparison to Kenyans who are waxing lyrical about their son and that their son is their new saviour

People should therefore get a grip and come back down to reality. We have serious issues in Kenya that need serious leaders and serious solutions. The only expectation that Obama can realistically fulfil is to provide a tangible example of inspirational and effective leadership to other African leaders. He can provide a living example of what leaders can aspire to. He can provide a blue print to show how leaders can engage with their citizens, and all this because he has more of a moral authority and credibility to challenge our incompetent leaders.

Obama’s victory will not translate to food on our tables. Obama’s victory will not address the current famine affecting a third of Kenya’s population. Obama’s victory will not translate to a better sense of security where our citizens can freely walk the streets without fear of robbery or rape. Obama’s victory will not translate to the resettlement of the hundreds of thousands of internal refugees displaced after our post election violence. Obama’s victory will not translate to lower unemployment in Kenya and better economic opportunities for our citizens. Obama’s victory will not translate to tribal harmony and a national sense of citizenship and patriotism that shuns our shameful tribal politicking and tribal inequalities.

It’s time to get a grip of ourselves and get back to the reality of getting ourselves out of the quagmire that we’re collectively in as Kenyans. It’s not Obama’s job to sort our shit out.Related Articles:

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You could be the person that the United States Secret Service are looking for. You will have to have been comatosed for the last 3 months not to have noticed who our new boss in Pennsylvania Avenue is. We are fully committed to ensuring that our employer is able to wake up every morning and do his job. You will understand of course, that this can be somewhat of a project, so that’s where you come in.

We want you to be a full time stand-in decoy. Your role with us will be a bitter sweet one. Needless to say, it is possible that there will be several attempts on your life, and we need to be upfront and honest about this, since this is the reason we seek your services as a decoy. You will be accorded reasonable protection in order to maintain your cover and character as a stand-in for our boss.

You will not be required to talk to anyone when on duty, make any speeches, or carry out official functions. All you will be required to do is look the part, smile and wave when your security detail chief or handler tells you to. In addition to your remuneration, you will travel in style in your own stretch limousine with the sort of motorcade and outback riders accorded to heads of state anywhere in the world, so much so that you won’t be able to get from K street to your local 7-11 without a weather satellite picking you up. You will have a nominal budget to extend your wardrobe, and occasionally ride around in a Boeing 747 aircraft alone so that we can make people think our boss is actually somewhere else.

You will never have the opportunity to be in the same room or travel together with our boss for that matter, otherwise the whole purpose of employing you as a body double and decoy will be fruitless. There will be long days and equally long nights of waiting, and sometimes you will be away from your family for long periods.

So, if this is you, and you can live with the anxiety and tension of being a mobile target for bad people who don’t want our boss to wake up every morning to do his job, then please send 2 recent passport size photos, alongside your resume to:

Personnel office
Presidential Protection Division (Secret Service)
Treasury Dept
Washington DC
USA

We are an equal opportunity employer but recognize that in this case, it will be difficult to offer an opening for a female or non-black candidate. We are open to applications especially from prospective Africans who meet the minimum criteria of being a picture perfect body double.

Please note that the health and safety executive has classified this role as extremely dangerous and life threatening. We therefore encourage you to approach it with a sense of humour and don’t take it too seriously, because there is a real possibility that you might not make it out on the other side.Related Articles:

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