Is Kalonzo Musyoka Just Another Cock Teasing Vice President Or Is He Just Politicking
I have a deep rooted cynicism for politics, notwithstanding the fact that I don’t trust politicians as far as I could spit the fuckers.
You always know it’s election season when they start gallivanting around the UK purporting to reach out to the Kenyan Diaspora and pretend they care. It’s the twisted rendition of them visiting rural areas to hand out lessos and bags of sugar to the hapless electorate who are supposed to be thankful that the politicians are coming to their village to listen to them.
I mean, these are the same folk who literally hijack burial services because it’s one of the most sure fire ways of reaching a captive audience. They don’t even give a damn about the deceased and instead shamelessly preach their tribalistic nonsense.
The game has changed with dual citizenship a reality. It gives politicians access to campaign funds from Diasporans abroad desperate to maintain a link with politics at home. It gives them potential access to votes if the Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission can get its shit together. It gives them a platform to spew their diatribe and tired political messages.
Kalonzo Musyoka is already at it with his entourage of dodgy ministerial lackeys and civil servants. And guess what their carrot is. Kenyans in the Diaspora should lobby for a seat in parliament.
Forgive my cynicism, but if the Vice President was serious about representation of Diasporans in the Kenyan parliament, he should have pushed for the creation of such a presence before the constitution was sealed.
What point is there jerking off excitable Kenyans in the Diaspora with the tantalizing prospect of a seat in parliament instead of presenting it as a bill for law change in the said parliament and having it debated. The parliament building is in down town Nairobi and not in East London.
All Kalonzo and other politicians and their hapless bus boys and girls are interested in is exerting influence over the Diaspora to gain advantage before the election next year.
The Vice President should stop being a manipulative punk and stop taking people for idiots. The government can’t even sort out the issues around the ICC and the criminal case against the Occampo 6, and he’s here promising a seat in parliament for the hundreds of thousands of Kenyans abroad? Does he think we walked into this election season from the cotton fields?
The irony is that Kenyans abroad are directly responsible for 5.3% of Kenya’s Gross Domestic Product. That’s a budget segment even bigger than the budget of most ministries in government. And all the punk can offer is a single solitary seat in parliament? What’s he going to give us next, a meal for our Diaspora MP every time he or she attends parliament?
If Kalonzo wants to impress us, get the president and prime minister to create a full blown ministry of Diaspora affairs to channel the human, social and financial capital and absolute clout that Kenyans abroad can bring to bear for the development of the country. You don’t need any Kenyans in the Diaspora to lobby that one for you – you’re the vice president, convince your bosses.
Kalonzo should stop this cheap ass politicking and cock teasing of Kenyans in some back water in East London. Go back home and get us some real shit in government.
And in case you were wondering where my contempt for Kenyan politicians comes from, have a look at this article I wrote quite a while back about the Rapists Of The Kenyan Spirit. Believe me, these guys don’t do themselves any justice – but I have to tell you, I blame all of us Kenyans for collective gross negligence and deriliction of our civic responsibilities by the reckless and irresponsible way we keep voting these punks into parliament.
And don’t forget the shot gun wedding that Kibaki and Raila had to endure. we still don’t know who’s children will survive this marriage..
If you haven’t yet, follow us on twitter. You might even get the chance to help us get Larry Madowo laid.
Tags: Kalonzo Musyoka, Kenya 2012
November 15th, 2011 at 11:21 am
I don’t know much about politics, but between Diaspora Parliamentary Seat[s] and meeting bloggers at the iHub, I’ll give him an A for effort
3CB´s last [type] ..Goth tattoos and stuff like that
November 16th, 2011 at 11:12 am
Darius, we always vote for the punks and those that drive big cars and lately fly over us with their hired choppers. I personally don’t know about the diaspora seat cos we’re everywhere in this world. We’ll squabble over that for sure! It’s like creating a whole new tribe!
farmgal´s last [type] ..I kissed a boy
November 16th, 2011 at 11:20 am
@Farmgal. Imagine, 1 pathetic seat for a whole tribe that will lynch each other about who’s right it is to have that seat. It’s tokenism of the kind you hold your nose when talking about.
And how come he’s only talking to the Diaspora in election season. In late 2006 and 2007 he was here fundraising from individuals of high net worth to finance his campaign. All this “lobby for a Diaspora seat in parliament” is bs – they could have created that seat if they wanted in the first place. If he can’t influence the creation of such a seat when he’s the vice president – who can?
@3CB – effort? These guys are manipulative punks. So bloggers are supposed to feel good that they’re meeting politicians? Why can’t they meet farmers, teachers, students, mboches and househelps. They simply have ulterior motives because bloggers can circumvent the mass media. Has fuck all to do with them caring.
November 21st, 2011 at 9:46 pm
I’m never visiting you. Not even as an ordinary citizen. And I’m certainly never pissing you off enough for you to want to campaign to get me laid. As for Kalonzo, he’s one of the people totally blacked out from my mind. too much jogwash. Plus he’s kinda cute.
shikomsa´s last [type] ..Ladygay….
November 22nd, 2011 at 7:14 am
Kalonzo is never going to get the ‘big job’, he’s too wishy-washy. Hana msimamo! And enticing Kenyans in the diaspora with a measly seat is just knee-jerk tactics to win him votes and once he lands there (which he won’t) he will forget all about Kenyans in the diaspora, just the way politicians always do.