100 Stone Cold Toofs, And Nothing But The Toof
Blame Val for distorting my mind and giving me post ideas to fill my break. I need a break anyway and since it’s been a while up in here – I might as well fess up.
1. Last beverage:
Nice properly ground coffee – always works a treat early in the morning. None of that instant stuff.
2. Last phone call:
My graphic designer in Kenya – I’ve got this habit of insisting that I won’t employ someone in my neighbourhood when there’s a cheaper (not always though) alternative that will give someone a few bob at home to do his or her thing. Don’t ever say I didn’t help with the economy Back home.
3. Is there a number 3?
Val – what’s the conspiracy with this omission?
4. Last song you listened to:
Tabu Ley Rochereau – Muzina. Always in the car – and have my son singing along…
5. Last time you cried:
You’re fucking kidding me, right?
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice?
No! – but if you mean had sex with an ex-girlfriend for old time sake – Yeah! I wouldn’t go as far as calling it dating again though – it was just a booty call. Why complicate things by letting another relationship get in the way of a perfectly legitimate good old fashioned arse tapping?
7. Been cheated on?
Probably – I’m not one to try and ask questions that have answers I’m not prepared for. Some sleeping dogs are just best left the fuck down.
8. Kissed someone?
Is the Pope Catholic?
9. Lost someone special?
I’m philosophical about this one – and I suppose it depends if they were mine in the first place. But I’ve had break-ups if that’s what you mean.
10. Been depressed?
No, not really – but I suppose if you asked a shrink they’d want to justify the fee and suggest otherwise. There was a time though many years back that I had to start learning how to live my life from scratch because of a life changing experience – but I was probably too busy learning how to start life from scratch again to even be depressed.
11. Been drunk and threw up?
Is this a trick question?
LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
Would it surprise you if I told you that the concept of colour is one that is foreign to my vocabulary?
12. Black – my car is metallic midnight black – love it.
13. Black – My laptop is black and no, I don’t do Goth.
14. Blue – I was in Batian House in primary school and we wore blue.
15. Beige – don’t know why, it just looks cool.
16. Made new friends:
Yes – I recently met new friends and had a ball. Her of the crazy variety cooked me a platinum dinner of Olympic quality, although FG and M were still eating it as they carried it home the next day, and I was left driving home salivating for the second round…LOL.
17. Fallen out of love?
Now why would I want to complicate my life by contemplating such nebulous questions.
18. Laughed until you cried?
19. Met someone who changed you?
Yes, my son.
20. Found out who your true friends were?
Oh Yes – a very long time ago.
21. Found out someone was talking about you?
Never gone looking but tis a fact of life – and all the more reason not to spend my energy looking.
22. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list?
On FB? Yeah – but that would be telling. Wanajijua wenyewe. →
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life?
Define ‘real’ life? I didn’t know the internet was fake. But just for consistency in answering the question, I know everyone on my FB list personally.
24. Again Val, where is No. 24? Is there a conspiracy?
25. Do you have any pets?
No! Now why would I want to live with an animal in my house.
26. Do you want to change your name?
It’s a bit too late for that…LOL
27. What did you do for your last birthday?
Worked during the day, went for dinner in the evening, and the rest would make my wife blush.
28. What time did you wake up today?
5.00 am as I do every weekday.
29. What were you doing at midnight last night?
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for:
For project A to become a reality. It’s stressful being in the ‘sausage factory’ with this one and I’ll be glad to see it through and move on to the next thing.
31. Last time you saw your father?
Is this another trick question? I could say a few months ago, but those who understand will know why I ask if this is a trick question.
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?
Another trick question…LOL! It can’t happen so let’s move right along.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now?
The biased, unprofessional, pathetic and criminal media shit stirring being conducted by the western media about Africa. Everything to them about Africa is a cesspit. It really doesn’t help that the Coupe du Mond is being battled for in South Africa starting Friday.
35. Last visited webpage?
Project A. You’ll have to wait for a few weeks to know what I’m visiting out there.
36. What’s your name?
38. Relationship Status?
39. Zodiac sign?
40. Male or female or transgendered?
42. Middle School?
What is it exactly that folks do here?
43. High school?
44. Hair color?
Black (when there’s some on my head)
I’m clean cut most of the time, or low crop during winter. Nice, simple, no drama – and it brings out the handsome in yours truly.
6 ft and a cigarette butt.
47. Do you have a crush on someone?
LOL! Don’t know what stuff like this feels any more – it used to be easier.
48. What do you like about yourself?
The fact that I’m not vain enough to answer this question. It’s for others to decide.
Need some guidance here – does helping someone lose their virginity count? I’m struggling.
51. Righty? or lefty?
→ Righty, though I confess, it’s been a while since I wrote anything by hand…
52. First surgery?
Don’t remember much probably because of the next 7 that followed. But I remember Deborah – she was nice and she took care of me. I remember thinking it must be really good to bang her in her nurses uniform…
53. First piercing
See number 49 above.
54. First best friends
Jamo. Still hang out until now.
55. First sport you joined?
Football of course.
56. First pet?
Please – no animals.
57. First vacation?
Mombasa…stayed at Whitesands hotel…and that was a long long time ago.
58. First concert?
Opening concert for Kasarani Sports Complex before some nutcase named it the Moi International Sports Centre. It was just before the 1987 All Africa games and the headline acts were Jermaine Jackson and Franco and his TPOK Jazz band. Also had my first kiss that night – met the girl there and we hang out the whole time together. I remember she was a year older than I was.
59. First crush?
Not telling, she’s on my FB friends list and probably reads this blog…LOL!
Nothing, but I had a bacon sandwich earlier.
62. Already missing?
Arsenal playing twice a week. The world cup is not the same – club football is the bread and butter and lifeline for my Arsenalitis disease.
63. I’m about to?
Go back to what I was doing before I started this crazy list.
64. Listening to?
65. Thinking about?
The next business activity after Project A is up and running.
66. Waiting for?
The second knock out round of the world cup when the chaff is separated from the wheat and we can start watching football proper.
YOUR FUTURE :
67. Want kids?
Already have one – but will think about more.
68. Want to get married?
LOL! Too late.
69. Careers in mind?
Anything away from the rat race. I love my freedom and flexibility and harmony.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
70. Lips or eyes?
Lips for sure – nyonyarable lips like Natalie Imbruglia’s lips. If I was to be honest, I’m a breast man myself….not too big, just nice and supple and easily fits the hand….but I digress…LOL! Lips will have to do.
71. Hugs or kisses?
This is one of them functional questions that you see how it goes…LOL! But I don’t go around hugging people for the sake of it…its damn hard work.
72. Shorter or taller?
73. Older or Younger?
Not fussed as I’ve buttered both sides of this slice, Age isn’t an issue believe me.
74. Romantic or spontaneous?
LOL! Wait till you get to my age.
75. Nice stomach or nice arms?
76. Sensitive or loud?
77. Hook-up or relationship?
Are you trying to get me divorced?
78. Trouble maker or hesitant?
HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Drank hard liquor?
Is that what it was?
80. Lost glasses/contacts?
Don’t need them.
81. Had sex on 1st date?
Yes. And you know what I don’t get – it’s this “I can’t fuck someone on the first date nonsense”. What’s the point in waiting if you’ve already decided – and believe me, girls already put you in a zone within 5 minutes…LOL! “He’s a no no”, or “Hmm!, he’s got game…let’s see” or “But of course”…
This not doing it on a first date thing to protect my modesty and respect nonsense just amuses me…bang the bastard already.
82. Broken someone’s heart?
Yes. It wasn’t going to work.
83. Had your own heart broken ?
Yes. Should have never got in…LOL! She was poison (not in that nasty way…) – we’re still buddies but she was the ladies equivalent of a ‘bad boy’.
84. Been arrested?
This is arguable and I plead the 5th.
85. Turned someone down?
Yes…I was once proposed to live on an internet forum…very embarrassing considering who else was reading that stuff…LOL Funny that I’ve actually met the girl and we’re good friends.
86. Cried when someone died?
Is this another trick question?
87. Liked a friend that of the same sex?
You’re fucking kidding me, right? DO
YOU BELIEVE IN:
If I don’t, who will?
90. Love at first sight?
No, lust at first sight has some mileage.
I’ll pass on this one.
92. Santa Clause?
LOL – Hell no.
93. Kiss on the first date?
If you don’t get one on the first date, then it was a really bad day at the office. Otherwise it wasn’t a date.
Guardian angels are all around us.
95. Is there one person you want to be with right now?
Can I plead the 5th amendment here?
96. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time?
That would be telling…
97. Wish you could change things in your past?
Never going to happen, let’s move on.
98. Are you posting this as 100 Truths
99. What, we’ve run out of questions? You still haven’t told me what happened to no. 3 and no. 24.? → Yup!
100. Where are you right now?
In my home-office.
I think it might be a good idea to get back to work now….it was a nice break.