@Tamtam, ‘er indoors goes to church (not this one) very regularly so I know they’re not all like this. I guess on a day where the sermon is about “let’s go teach Africans how to plant tomatoes coz’ they’re too poor to know how”, then any African in the congregation is fair game. Sometimes its hard to blame ignorance, these guys don’t know better…

@Shiko

LOL – I’m so picturing Mr. Bean in church and the thought is bound to be a classic one.

I think Akatsa died some time ago. The thing with such characters (Deya, Lakwena, Akatsa), they have a certain irresistable charisma that draws vulnerability and they know how to spin their doctrine to the masses. Sometimes people are destined to follow something like this because there’s a spiritual vacuum that needs filling. These folks are fiercely intelligent and charming too.

LOL @Lakwena talking to the water. No wonder she thought that water will stop bullets. Maybe the water responded as in “Mami – we have power”…

As for that tight spot up there – you best believe the bigger trauma is that you don’t get to finish the said DNA distribution exercise, especially after investing all the holiday time with romantic walks sijui where, a movie here and there, day time dates in town and lunch (from mortgaging your next terms pocket money…LOL), and all the sweet nothings you’ve had to muster every day of the wooing….it’s bloody hard work I tell you.

Mary Akatsa, is she still around? Alice Lakwena/Deya/Akatsa and all their other cohorts, I’ve never for the life of me managed to wrap my mind around how one can be brainwashed into believing something as outrageous as cult doctrines. I may not be the right person to try figure that out seeing that even some mainstream doctrines have refused to wash with me but still ……. All of Deya’s pregnantees seemed of sound mind and some even of high intellect. I couldn’t imagine what he told them to make them dispute all they knew about creation and biology.

I hear she (Lakwena) used to talk to the water. As in you water, I’m asking you ……

That tight situation up there needs 3 words. It wasn’t me – at whatever stage of the act one is walked in on. Even in the process of or after depositing DNA one can still say it ‘it wasn’t me’. That is of course if they listen to Shaggy.

Your experience in that church is unbelievable. I had the sick bucket by me,as I was reading through it. I hope I never come across these sorts of individuals, probably unlikely as I don’t frequent those sorts of churches.

I am impressed by your high tolerance level, you did good,lol.

Gilbert Deya has a lot to answer for. He actually brainwashed a former business associate of mine – this must be about 7 years ago now, and it was just a comedy watching the brainwashed dude, his girlfriend and her sister succumb to his world famous nonsense. They used to try get me to go to his ministries, despite the fact that we had to work on Sunday afternoon, evening and through the night.

The last straw for me came when he was trying to convince me that Deya’s wife who was over the hill, and some women in the congregation who couldn’t give birth before gave birth after his prayers, and they had I don’t know how many kids in less than 5 months. I don’t give a damn what this dude’s prayer’s were like – but that was just nonsense. Even the immaculate conception leading through to the birth of Jesus took 9 months as far as we could tell, and who are we to argue that this wasn’t the miracle of miracles….Sheesh! I banned them from ever talking to me about the conman.

@FG, why would I want to do something as stupid as buy a mobile phone? What will I actually use it for….LOL! And yeah!, the sermon was about saving those less fortunate than us – he might have well just said “Please give us £2 a month yada yada yada”

@KR, Akatsa was a funky chic, disillusioned, but funky. She kind of reminded me of a one Alice Lakwena from Uganda who told her troops that magical water would stop a full metal jacket in its tracks. I think the number of dead bodies riddled with bullets put her theory into disrepute.

LOL @ the Church being gossip central. Lakini you know the church are the people right?Clearly we all need a Saviour even from our gossip.Most people who still go to Church in this country are the elderly (I am not saying you fit into this group!LOL) and these people will go a whole week without talking to anyone but the milkman so Sunday, it’s on. It’s a catch omnibus!

And I have to admit that whole “we have new visitors”- makes me want to sprint out of any church ( and I can not run to save my life.)

Gilbert Deya………….no words. But there is a man who will make me voluntarily register for sniper services!

I AM STILL CLAPPING! You might buy a mobile phone next!!!!!!!!!!LOL