Tax Payers Money for Porn – What a perk!
It’s always difficult to tell which is the more stressful or humiliating – the fact that your hubby has been watching dirty old hard core porn, and probably playing with his tojjer, while you’re away working hard for the bacon, or the fact that the drama of him being a naughty boy is played out on a national and possibly international stage.
I must admit, I’m not a fan of Jacqui Smith, the UK Home Secretary, but even a stone cold approach to some issues in life doesn’t stop me from empathizing with her, regardless of the spectacular stupidity of this matter. Deep down she must be wondering what the fuck hit her as she looks in the mirror and tries to contemplate whether to castrate her husband for the public humiliation, or whether to cry because of the heartbreak.
Home Secretary Jacqui Smith leaving for a very long day at work
Clearly, the irony of the timing of the leak about her expenses claim that paid for pornographic movies with tax payers money isn’t past the cynical mind of someone from the enemy camp with excellent sabotage skills. I don’t think its coincidence that the leak comes just before one of Jacqui’s biggest moments on the international political stage, as she prepares her security apparatus to host probably the most powerful 20 leaders in the world in London. Apparently, MP’s now want the Police to investigate who leaked her dirty old secret out – are they afraid their skeletons are coming out next?
Gordon her boss must be thinking – “The damn bastards”. If it’s not enough that he’s gallivanting the world in an attempt to rally G20 folks into buying his global financial master plan, the enemy has to unleash this madness onto the stage.
Gordon Brown’s job already looks like a lost cause that is tantamount to him trying to herd cats, but this Jacqui Porngate affair is just the stuff that comedy is made of.
As for Jacqui’s hubby Dick, it looks like he’ll have to do with the sofa for a while as she cools off. I don’t know which is actually more stupid on his part – Watching hardcore porn on the family TV pay per view account, or getting caught by stupidly letting his wife claim the cost of the porn movies from tax payers, lest she asks why she shouldn’t be claiming it and he has to admit that he’s been a naughty boy.
Jacqui Smith’s husband Richard Timney apologizing to the media for his moment of madness
He’ll probably plead insanity and claim that she’s been starving him of his conjugal rights hence his creativity looking for alternative entertainment – but with a good stint on the sofa, chances are he’s not getting pussy for a while.
Either way, the biggest question in Britain right now is “What were those 2 porn movies that he watched?”. Talk about free advertising handed to the producers of the movies on a plate.
April 8th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Comment by 3TOC on 30.03.2009 at 8.22 pm
One day when they put me on the Oscar winners selection committee, I will give you one.Just because!
So I have followed this story with interest mainly because I just want to see what is annoying people more- the fact that it was tax payers money or that it was porn.
And so that is how I read your post with great interest and then for you to say tii the biggest question in Britain is “which two movies there were”- for that you get an Oscar. Never saw that one coming.
Personally, I could care less what the man watched in the privacy of his home. Whether it was Dexter or Porn is not my pain- my pain lies in the fact that the stupid movies were 10 pounds. 10 POUNDS and we paid for it!!!! Doesn’t his wife earn something in the rage of 152,000 pounds a year.And he is her advisor. And dude could not find ten pounds in his own pocket had to reach into mine? For ten stupid pounds!!!!!Isn’t ten pounds like two big MACS!!!!! plus a re-fill drink!!!!Now if he had bought a Wii, I would understand, they are like what 200 pounds. Put for 10 pounds?
Yes, I feel sorry for the wife but can you imagine his teenage son- what he will go through at school this week?ALL FOR TEN POUNDS!!!!! Yaawa it is more expensive for him to get a hair cut, shall we pay for that too.
April 8th, 2009 at 9:06 am
Comment by 3TOC on 30.03.2009 at 9.24 pm
Okay, my sources tell me Jacqui Smith is on 65,000 .Still he should able to afford the ten pounds!
April 8th, 2009 at 9:09 am
Comment by Darius Stone on 31.03.2009 at 7.53 am
Actually 3, Jacqui Smith is on a ministerial salary which is well over £130,000 – the £65K is for the lowly MP without a portfolio. Even without the hubby’s salary of £40,000 that the tax payer is footing, Jacqui’s salary and expenses for 2007 – 2008 financial year was just under £300,000. And between the both of them they can’t afford 10 quid.
I agree with you in that the man should be allowed to indulge in his fantasies if he wants to. What is wrong here is that he got caught, and that he wanted to hide it by letting Jo Public pay for it – coz’ Jo Public has probably never asked before. Personally, I think its a bigger crime that he watched Oceans 13 twice. That movie was so bad only a man possessed would watch it twice on pay per view rather than wait for it on normal cable circulation.
But Gosh! the kids I think can survive the caning in school – I’m just feeling for Jacqui’s humiliation. This is the sort of stuff you would want to contain in-house and deal with the drama behind closed doors, not having it played out in the public domain. It as much as tells the world of your failure as a wife to take care of business at home for Dick to resort to his own devices.
But lakini even the hubby yawa…..there are some basic rules – there’s some things you don’t get caught doing….that’s just an unwritten rule of navigating this weird world of ours.
April 8th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Comment by val on 31.03.2009 at 8.42 am
Goodness me. Lol @ what movies in particular he was watching…
“But lakini even the hubby yawa…..there are some basic rules – there’s some things you don’t get caught doing….”
That there is the summary of the whole thing…why couldn’t he have gone to one of those shops with blacked out windows?
April 8th, 2009 at 9:12 am
Comment by Shiko-Msa on 31.02.2009 at 10.24 am
Stone Cold other than the drama being played out on the international stage and maybe the away working for the bacon, the first paragraph can actually be a turn on for some couples. Stupid is the use of tax payers money and not the porn watching. It’s humiliating and then some but the grand lady should take this opportunity to appreciate the fact that hubby is still in there. Some spice it may very well be for their relationship after the dust settles.
One thing for sure he wont stop watching porn. And in unrelated news he must have been quite the looker when he was younger.
April 8th, 2009 at 9:13 am
Comment by 3TOC on 31.03.2009 at 11.15 am
LOL @ the bigger crime was that he watched Ocean 13 twice!!!!!! You are really getting that Oscar now.
April 8th, 2009 at 9:16 am
Comment by Darius Stone on 31.03.2009 at 12.07 pm
I tell you 3, its not even funny that he could watch that damn movie twice on pay per view – he couldn’t even wait for it to go on free circulation….LOL! Very few warm blooded males won’t forgive a comrade for a little indulgance of the blue kind – but not for watching a crap movie twice and paying for it with tax payers money.
@Shiko – this dust may take a while to settle….I still feel for her public humiliation though coz’ behind all the high powered politics and ministerial cloud, I’m sure she’s still a 40 something year old woman with her voulnerabilities and personal issues that we all believe are reasonable things to protect under the cloak of privacy….
Perhaps the silver lining on this one as you say is that hubby has been honing his bednastics skills and once he’s out of the dog house for his part in this humiliation, those skills may well be called upon – and with the dust having settled, she’ll be the one smiling from the good going over that she gets….
@Val, LOL! I tell you lakini some people jomoko yawa….the tragedy here is that he broke the cardinal rule and got caught….He left the paper trail right up to his doorstep….LOL! Those two movies are on their way to becoming box office hits overnight….